He walked face-first into that one

Yes, let's all trust Jeb the Builder to fix all of the problems that ail this country:
In the annals of American political slogan-writing, no one has ever borrowed material from a British cartoon. 
Jeb Bush can fix that. 
And Twitter can mock him for inspiring memories of Bob the Builder's 'Can we fix it? Yes we can!' with his new 'Jeb can fix it' catch-phrase. 
The former Florida governor relaunched his ailing presdiential campaign on Monday with a Tampa speech that climaxed with a litany of things he can 'fix' – just like Bob's friends Scoop, Muck, Dizzy and Roley. 
'After seven years of incompetence, corruption and gridlock in Washington, we need a president who can fix it,' Bush told supporters on Monday. 
'I can fix it.' 
'After seven years of historic cuts to our military – a foreign policy based on leading from behind – the emboldening of our enemies, and the isolation of our allies, we need a president who fixes America’s standing abroad,' the speech continued. 
'I can fix it.' 
'After seven years of massive deficits, historic debt, and a president who vetoes defense spending because he wants more reckless spending, we need a president who fixes our budgetary mess.' 
'I can fix it,' Bush said again. 'I know I can fix it – because I’ve done it.' 
Another thing he's done is inspired legions of Twitter users to pass around Bob the Builder's opening credits and theme song with short-form snickers. 
'I blame Jeb Bush for putting the Bob the Builder theme song in my head this morning,' comic book author Jeremy Whitley tweeted. 'For this there can be no forgiveness.'
Now, as cuckservatives go, you just can't get more cucky than Jeb Bush there. The guy has done the unthinkable- he has made George W. Bush look like an alpha male in comparison to himself.

Don't get me wrong, I actually have a certain amount of personal respect for George W. Bush. Far more than I do for, say, Barack Odumbass. However, I do expect that the next Republican candidate for President to look just a tad less... gormless than the last two.

So when I see Jeb Bush basically acting like a giant doofus with ridiculous slogans that make him look even sillier than he already is, well, I can't help but chuckle.

This is the man that the Republican establishment would have you believe can defeat Hillary "I'm being TOTALLY honest about Benghazi" Clinton in a straight contest for the office of the President. And yet he can't help but be compared to the main character from a beloved children's cartoon, mostly because he is such a goober.

Indeed, I would say that this image roughly sums up Jeb Bush's entire campaign:

... Oh dear.

Put him side-by-side with his older brother, and look at the difference between the two:

On the left, you have the former President- a man who looks relaxed, straight-backed, upright, confident, in good shape, beaming with that mile-wide smile of his. You can disagree with him, vigourously, about his politics- I certainly do, in many areas. But one thing you cannot fault him on is his utter confidence and aura of leadership.

On the right, you have his younger brother, pretender to the throne, the current "establishment" pick for POTUS. And notice the difference.

The younger Bush is chubby, out of shape, slightly stooped over, tentative, and clearly not as comfortable as his older brother is with the mantle of responsibility. He practically radiates insecurity and neediness, which his brother does not.

Indeed, in almost every way- including choice of spouses- the older brother outstrips the younger and proves himself to be more naturally fit for leadership.

But fear not, my friends- no doubt we can trust Jeb the Builder to come in and fix everything, even that goofy smile of his:

... Or maybe not.

Good grief. No wonder The Donald is making mincemeat out of him.


Popular Posts