Friday T&A: Cabin Fever Edition
Look, gents, I know it's bad. I know that the world seems like it's gone straight to Hell, and I'm sorry to say that it's not going to get too much better anytime soon. We are in for at least another two weeks of white-knuckle madness on ALL fronts.
I lived through the Asian Financial Crisis of 1997-98 - this is worse. I lived through the SARS epidemic of 2003 - this is worse. I lived through the market crash of 2008 - this is worse. And I can tell you with a lot of confidence from being in the middle of a fair few calamitous events in my life that the panic takes a long time to subside.
But it always does in the end. And when - not if - that day comes, people usually sit up and realise that they were freaking out a bit too much. That is how an episode of mass hysteria works, after all. People completely lose their heads over things which simply don't warrant the madness.
And make no mistake - COVID-19 is not a world-ending plague. Its mortality rate is a full order of magnitude too low to justify the extreme measures being taken.
I'll address this a bit more in my podcast for Sunday, but for now, I want to take a moment to tell you all, once again:
Do not panic. Stay calm. It's going to be okay, and the day when things calm down a bit and we can all breathe again is not nearly so far off as you think.
And, since my job here is to help you maintain your morale and give you a sense of hope, let's get to our hot girl of the week to help you pass the monotony of staying at home a little more easily.
Her name is Amanda Taylor, age 23 from Charlotte, NC, and she is one of the most famous Instathots out there, according to the people who judge such things. She's known for gracing the covers of Maxim and other lad mags - unsurprising, given her figure. And while her hair colour might come out of a bottle, her other attributes are possibly natural - though, as ever with Instathots, that is a matter of pure speculation.
Happy Friday, boys. I do hope that you are well and that you and your families have not been visited by the blessings of Corona-chan. Stay safe, stay healthy, and hang tough. We're going to get through this together, and we'll come out the other side in better shape than before.