Thus spake Clarksonius
The great philospoher and wise man Jeremy Clarkson has often stated, and written, that cyclists and bikers should simply work harder and buy a car. Judging by what bicycles have done to China - and Vietnam, and Indonesia, and the inner cities of London and New York and San Francisco - I must concede that he does have a point:
This is what Jeremy actually has to say about bikers and cyclists:
The thing is, I used to ride a proper cycle around London for three years or so. I do, in fact, have a lot of sympathy for cyclists. I do miss having the ability to simply jump on a bicycle and going out for a long ride down from Russel Square and all the way past Hyde Park and down to Shepherd's Bush.
What I cannot bloody stand is the militant ****s who insist that they have a God-given right to jump the curb and ride their cycles on the sidewalk. As it happens, I rather like going for long walks around a city with decent sidewalks - which, living where I have for about the past year, is actually something of a very nice luxury.
As for motorbikes, well, I'm actually not at all against bikes. Before my untimely departure from the USA last year, I had planned to spend time over the summer learning how to ride one.
Our own good friend Adam Piggott has pointed out that a real modern man rides a bike. And I agree with him.
I also agree with Jezza, though, about the fact that gents who ride those things need to remember that they look like Power Rangers, have to stop under a bridge every time it rains, and go to the bar simply to drink orange juice - WITHOUT vodka, gin, or even petrol to accompany it.
Meanwhile, if you're as bummed out about the fact that THE GRAND TOUR is off the air for a while, at least until they come back with Season 4, and the fact that the old sit-down episodes will no longer take place and the show will now focus on specials and adventures, then do what I do and drown your sorrows in a binge-watching marathon of old-school TOP GEAR (the good stuff, from back when it wasn't an SJW-converged shitfest) and previous episodes of GT.