Monday morning haemorrhoid ointment
I'll bet $20 that you didn't expect to start your Monday by looking at a headline like that, eh?
Today, though, it's quite appropriate, because I finally got around to checking out our friend Terrence Popp's EPIC breakdown of Jeff Bezosoy's divorce.
He and Blake Kleiner have done a superb job putting together their latest in the Pimptard vs Wifestitute series. Check this video out, you're gonna learn quite a lot about the world's richest Beta that you didn't know before:
The butt-shots are just a bonus, as far as I'm concerned. The maths is where the fun happens. And they are truly EPIC - but eye-watering.
If I were Jeff Bezos right now, I wouldn't be feeling like the richest man in the world. I'd be feeling more like THIS poor schmuck:
Dear Lord, but that was brutal to watch. Awesome, but brutal. Your Monday might suck - but at least you ain't Jeff Bezos.
Remember back when TV advertising was actually good? Back before it got all woke, and therefore shit?
That was about 20 years ago:
Also - Hugh Laurie is a goddamn GENIUS, as anyone who has ever paid any serious attention to his long and storied career can easily see.
Related - I love Russians for many reasons, and not just because of their women. The fact is that the Russkies have their heads bolted on good and tight when it comes to matters of "feminism" and "social justice":
Embracing a ‘woke’ message of social justice is a novel way corporations can plug products, but Reebok’s latest Russian campaign took the concept to an extreme, featuring a feisty feminist threatening to “sit on” male faces.
The concept itself is nothing new. Nike’s “Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything” ad made the sportswear company an instant authority on race relations and triggered boycotts and shoe-burnings across America. Ben and Jerry’s ‘Pecan Resist’ flavor of ice-cream cozied the company up with the anti-Trump #resistance, and Gillette’s ‘Toxic Masculinity’ ad saw the razor company preach social justice to its almost exclusively male customers.
Reebok’s latest “Be More Human” campaign, featuring ‘Game of Thrones’ actress Nathalie Emmanuel played it relatively safe in comparison, with Emmanuel encouraging ambition, strength and feelgood girl-power.
Not so in Russia.
The company’s parallel Russian campaign used the hashtag “not fit for frames,” a Russian play on words that translates as both ‘breaking boundaries’ and ‘being outrageous.’ The Instagram campaign took Emmanuel’s message of female empowerment and added military-strength steroids.
Reebok pulled the ads from Instagram moments after they were posted, but not before Russians registered their outrage and confusion.
“You’ve got the wrong country,” said one. “You’ll make nobody here happy with this. I hope you[r] rivals aren’t such idiots.”
“It’s good that I only wear Nike,” jeered another. “At least no one will sit on my face.”
“If you want to show strong women, engaged in ‘non-female’ sports, than show such women, but don’t invite girls who want to sit on men’s faces” said one commenter. While Marshenkulova posed in sportswear for the campaign, she is not an athlete, and instead runs a feminist Telegram channel in Russia.
Amid the furor, campaign director Alexander Golofast explained that the ads had been approved by Reebok’s higher-ups, but shortly after publication he was asked to take them down.
“The brand took a cool photo shoot, made good video content, did post production for a long time, put logos on it, and as soon as it got some negative comments, they took it down,” he explained. “A brand can do this, but I am just ashamed that I look so ridiculous,” Golofast said, adding that he no longer intends to work in the company.
Now that, right there, is a stolid and sensible group of people who are not going to tolerate being lectured to about "WAMENZ EMPOWAHHHMEN" by a bunch of jumped-up feminist marketing bints from the West.
PJW shows us that, yet again, the Left can't meme:
And now, because they can't meme worth the minutest quantum of a flying rodent's posterior, they want to stop the rest of us from having any kind of fun, because it might hurt their PWESHUS ICKLE FEEEEWINGS...
Just remember, chaps, God hates SJWs even more than we do. That is why He gave US the ability to come up with dank-ass memes ))
Prince Harry's wifey-poo (that's not a term of endearment, by the way, at least not from me) is apparently proving to be every bit as much of a pain in the patella as his mother was, from the perspective of Britain's richest welfare scroungers:
When she walked alone down the aisle at St George's chapel in Windsor Castle last May, she was portrayed as Duchess Dazzling, lauded by the watching world for her determination to marry her way.
Just a few short months later Meghan Markle, who is expecting her first child in April, was dubbed Duchess Difficult, blamed for the premature departure of royal staff, including her personal assistant Melissa Touabti, private secretary Samantha Cohen who is going after 17 years of working for the royal family and, most recently, her Scotland Yard bodyguard.
A Scotland Yard source explained that, unlike someone who has grown up in the royal family, having round the clock security, especially as Meghan wants to be seen as 'one of the people,' was 'quite constraining.'
What is truly remarkable is that Meghan's media narrative virtually mirrors Princess Diana's early experiences inside the royal family. She fell out with her mother, was blamed for a series of staff departures and found the presence of a Scotland Yard bodyguard disconcerting. In a matter of months she went from being a fairytale princess to a 'monster'.
The stresses and strains surrounding her wedding at St Paul's cathedral in 1981 caused a long-time rift between the princess and her mother, Frances Shand-Kydd. She later told me : 'My mother let me down terribly with the wedding. She kept crying and being all valiant and saying that she couldn't cope with the pressure. I tended to think that I was the one under pressure because I was the bride. So I didn't speak to her for three or four years afterwards.'
Can't say I'm surprised. I've been arguing that Prince Harry was all kinds of stupid for putting a ring on this particular woman since before the marriage.
There are some things on Twatter that can never, ever be unseen:
I’ve seen it all wtf pic.twitter.com/bQztD7wGrA— Meninist (@MeninistTweet) January 28, 2019
And, yes, as Heartiste points out, the reaction memes are awesome:
The TOP GEAR Police Department's motto is, of course, Ambitiose sed Ineptum - and with excellent reason:
I really miss the old show. It was so full of so much truly balls-out brilliance that nothing that has come along since then has come anywhere close - EXCEPT for THE GRAND TOUR.
Speaking of which... I'm, like, 1.8 seasons behind in terms of that show. So, NO, Kapios, spoilers are NOT allowed in the comments. (Yeah, I know, he never does post spoilers to the show - that's just in case somebody does.)
While we're on the subject of comedy, watch what happens when Alexandria Occasional-Cortex's synapses start (mis)firing in an attempt (almost entirely in vain) to make herself sound intelligent:
Pics from Power Line and other places:
Dog of the week - the Great Dane:
Gym idiots time, very sadly:
And here, as always, is a gym beast to wash away the pain left by those horrors:
Saenchai is one of the very best muay thai fighters out there today, if not the best. Watching him dance around his opponents and make them look really stupid - especially when they are the very best of the best in the world - is both awe-inspiring and humbling:
The way in which muay thai fighters wrap their knuckles before a fight has to be seen to be believed:
Instathot for the start of the week is named Yulia Ushakova, and is billed as "the unofficial face of Russian ice hockey team HC Spartak". Yes, she's blonde, and yes, she's Russian. And, yes, she's quite hot - though a certain Gentleman Adventurer might disagree. Given that we apparently have very different tastes in women - yet both of us keep posting up pictures of ravishing blondes and brunettes - I suppose we'll just have to agree to disagree, eh?