Solid advice


"Fiona Shackleton" is not a household name in the United States of America - or pretty much anywhere else, outside of PommieBastardLand. Or even in Ye Olde Englande, for that matter. But within aforementioned PomInfestedPlace, she is quite well known as a Baroness - though by marriage, not blood - and therefore is an in-law (or out-law, depending on how you look at such things) of the legendary leader and Antarctic explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton.

She is tangentially known for getting a 3rd Class Honours degree in Law, which if you know anything about the way that the Pommies calculate their bands for awarding degrees is a bit like graduating from college with an approximately "D" average.

(No, I am not making that up. I just so happened to graduate from a British university - a damned good one, by all accounts - with a 1st Class degree in Mathematics, so I know how this stuff works.)

Just goes to show that being part of the upperest of upper-crusty types has a lot of benefits, eh, what?

Oh, and she also happens to be the extremely highly connected and high-powered lawyer who helped a certain Charles, Prince of Wales and first in line to the throne of Les Pommes, as well as a certain Liverpudlian who goes by the name of Sir Paul McCartney - you may have heard of these blokes - untangle themselves from their balls-and-chains wives.

And now, Baroness Shackleton has put to work her vast experience with divorce - and it is vast - to help people understand what a happy marriage involves.

And I have to say, her advice is actually pretty decent:

A top divorce lawyer has urged all schools to teach children about marriage and 'who to breed with' to cut the number of divorces.

Fiona Shackleton, who represented Prince Charles in his divorce, said it was a 'mistake' to think that marriage is 'just about the heart'.

She added too few people think about the 'practicalities' of marriage and focus instead on romantic things like the 'white dress' or 'escape from home'.

She said children should be taught about how to find a sensible partner with whom to 'rear children' and to realise that unkind people 'never change' even after they become a husband or wife.

Speaking on BBC Radio 4's Today Programme, she said that if schools hammered this home at an early age there would then be fewer divorces and more 'happy children'.

Baroness Shackleton has recently backed a university research project to discover the components of the best marriages, so that they can be taught to youngsters.

She said: 'I have sponsored a project... to research into what makes a successful marriage, what makes an unsuccessful marriage, with a hope that education which is severely lacking in schools who teach about alcohol abuse, drug abuse, sex and goodness knows what else, would devote just a little time to get students to focus on what is the most important decision they make, which is basically, who they breed with or from.'

Asked by host John Humphrys whether marriage was 'about the heart as well as the head', she replied: 'That's the mistake.'


I have written about the topic of monogamous marriage a great many times already, so I will spare everyone another long-winded article dissecting the question of whether or not it is a good idea.

Here is the executive summary: as far as I am concerned, long-term, monogamous marriage does work and does make sense - with the very strong caveat that the two people entering into the marriage need to realise that they are getting involved in a business deal, and need to approach it with precisely that mindset.

The thing that men and women need to understand is that marriage is a highly unequal union - and that is how it has to be, because the people tying the knot have very different values in the Sexual Market Place.

When a man gets married, he is typically tying himself down to an asset that rapidly depreciates in value after about the age of 32 or so. The asset in question can, and should, pick up a number of valuable other traits as she ages, but her primary economic value lies in her youth, beauty, and fertility.

When a woman gets married, she is typically tying herself down to an asset that slowly but steadily appreciates in value after the age of about 30 or so. The asset in question has value tied to his wealth, power, and charisma, and for a man these things accumulate over time, to the point where, after about the age of 40, as long as he has not done anything truly spectacularly stupid - or, Heaven help him, gotten divorced - he generally has his shit together to a fairly impressive degree.

Now, obviously, in a degenerate and broken society - like, say, most Western countries today - these things are sweeping generalisations that no longer really apply. There was a time when they did, but that time has gone where all Good Old Days go to die.

Today, women have sufficient political, economic, and societal independence and freedom that the old equations no longer apply. And as such, they no longer have to weigh up the costs versus the benefits of getting married to a man based on something other than gina tingles.

Thanks to modern no-fault and quick-fire divorce laws - the kinds of laws that Baroness Shackleton herself has made an entire career out of exploiting - a woman can now take a man to court and divorce-rape him there for the most trivial reasons possible.

These days, marriage is no longer a union between a man and a woman. It is now an extremely dangerous three-way contract between a man, a woman, and the State. In the event of a contractual breach, the woman and the State almost always end up on the same side.

All of this is indisputably true, so it is very much to the good that Baroness Shackleton has bothered to take the time to point out what works and what does not in marriage.

It is critically important for men to understand that, when we get married, we are the gatekeepers to commitment. We hold all of the power right up until the moment that we say "I do".

But right after that moment, we cede huge amounts of power to women. From that moment onwards, a man's wife has legal control over his finances, his home, and his children.

Marriage is fundamentally a business deal - which sounds incredibly offensive to women, believe me. My own mother was shocked to hear me say this. So it is in a man's best interests to seek out the best deal, the best business partner, that he can find.

For, as Baroness Shackleton said, marriage should be at least as much about the head as the heart - and for men, that means thinking with the Big Head, not the Little Head.

How does one go about doing this? Here are a few suggestions, based on what I have seen among my married friends and relatives:

First: marriage requires adulthood, for both parties involved. Adulthood requires painful experience and growth. If a man marries a woman - both of them adults, grown into such through learning from painful and difficult life experiences, they both have a pretty good chance of succeeding. If a man marries a girl - or, worse, if a woman marries a boy - then the union is pretty much doomed from the start.

Adults are psychologically and emotionally stable and understand that living with someone else in close proximity requires flexibility and adaptation. Children are psychologically and emotionally immature and throw tantrums to get what they want, and often have to be disciplined, sometimes harshly, before they can learn from their mistakes.

Second: never marry a woman expecting that she will stay just as she is. She will change. So will you. This is inevitable and most of the time it is a very good thing. When that growth and maturation happens together, it leads to wonderful and powerful shared experiences.

Third: do NOT marry a woman who fails the (in)famous Dick Stacking Test. Fact is, if you are looking to marry a 25-year-old beautiful virgin in the current day and age, you are hunting for unicorns in the forest. Such women basically no longer exist. The Virgin Test is impractical and useless these days. The Dick Stacking Test is far more practical and effective.

What is the Dick Stacking Test, you ask? Well... Take the number of men that your woman has had sex with - and double that number if you want to be on the safe side. Divide that number by two. This is the height of a platform, in feet, formed by the number of cocks that your girl has taken into herself.

If that platform is taller than she is - she fails. Ditch her ass and move on.

Fourth: do not fool yourself into thinking that you really truly understand your woman's character, no matter how well you know her. You will be shocked to see how quickly your sweet, angelic, loving wife can turn into a snarling feral daemon in divorce court.

Fifth, and related: there is a huge difference between marriage and holy matrimony.

A man who takes a used-up carousel rider in her mid-to-late thirties to City Hall - or, worse, Las Vegas - and gets married by a fly-by-night Justice of the Peace, is married.

A man who asks the father of a beautiful 18-year-old virgin for permission to marry her, then does so in a church surrounded by his family and hers in the sight of Almighty God, consummates the union that night (or the next morning), and stays completely faithful to her for the rest of his natural life, is involved in holy matrimony.

You tell me which one is the more difficult to stay in. There is a reason why marriage is supposed to be challenging. A man has to exercise tremendous self-control to keep it in his pants around women who are not his wife, even though his entire genetic code is screaming at him to spread his seed into every furrow he can find.

Sixth: a really great marriage is not hard work, contrary to what I and others have said in the past.

Here I must point out that I was wrong. I have stated here, repeatedly, that marriage is really hard work. And that is because unhappy marriages really are very hard - on both people involved.

But, as our good friend Adam Piggott has pointed out before, a true long-term relationship between adults is the exact opposite of hard work.

That is because the two people involved have done the hard work already, of turning themselves into functional adults. In bad marriages, involving an adult and a child - or, worst of all, two children - one adapts to the other at all times, or neither adapts at all. In good marriages, involving two adults, both adapt to each other.

Adam's understanding is correct. Mine was wrong.

Seventh, and last: having game is absolutely necessary for marriage, but it is not, and never will be, sufficient. Never forget Roissy's Sixteen Commandments of Poon - especially Commandment VII, which is particularly relevant for married men.

(It is extremely difficult, by the way, to reconcile the "two in the kitty" rule with Christ's admonitions from the Sermon on the Mount about how so much as looking at another woman with lust in your heart is the same as adultery. The only way to get around this is to use mild forms of "dread game".)

Game, in and of itself, can help fix a broken marriage. It can help you find a woman who is worth marrying in the first place. It can get you laid as often or as rarely as you want.

But game alone is not sufficient for maintaining relationships. That requires maturity. Maturity requires experience. And experience requires taking risks, failing, getting knocked down and beaten up, and dragging oneself to one's feet again to fight the next round.

Or you could just give up and go MGTOW. That is also a choice. I just don't happen to think it is a very good one, that's all.

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