And now for some unabashed misogyny

So it turns out that the camel-humpers over in the sands of Arabia have finally decided to let their women start driving - now, gentlemen, there is no need for such howls of laughter, live and let liHAHAHAHAHA:

Saudi women are up in arms over the cost of driving lessons - a financial hurdle that many believe could stop females from taking to the roads for the first time ever when historic legislation passes. 

Women were banned from the roads in Saudi Arabia up until September last year, when a royal decree declared that females would legally be allowed to own a driving licence.

In the past, women have reportedly been jailed for breaking the cultural code. In July last year, human rights activist Loujain al-Hathloul was arrested outside King Fahd International Airport in Dammam. Al-Hathloul had previously attempted to drive from the United Arab Emirates into Saudi Arabia.

According to local news, a date has now been set for the historic moment in women’s history - June 24 - with General Mohammed al-Bassami, the director of the Department of Traffic, quoted as saying that “all the requirements for women to start driving have been established.”

However, while they may soon be equal in terms of driving law, many have reportedly pointed out the disparity in driving lesson costs between women and men.

Gulf News, an English language newspaper based in Dubai, reports that driving license fees for women could rise to 5,000 Saudi Riyal, the equivalent of around $1,330.

In contrast, men can expect to pay just 450 Saudi Riyal for driving lessons with a teacher, the report adds. Saudi women have since taken to social media to express their fury at the premium they must pay to drive.

This is going to sound really horrid to the, like, three women who read this blog - but I'm gonna say it anway:

Praise be to the pagan moon god Allah for this rare attack of common sense in the Middle East!

Of course, if I am going to be such an utter douchebag as to say things like that, I should by rights back up my assertions with evidence.

Well, here you go:

It must be noted that this fee differential in driver training costs means that it will be more difficult for women to scratch the chromed hubcaps on their husbands' very expensive Mercs and Jags and Bentleys and Lambos. (Not Ferraris, of course - no self-respecting oil bazillionaire in his right mind would let his wife, or more likely hot-crazy Russian mistress, drive his Fezza.)

There are few things worse than a woman who doesn't know how to park - as I shall now prove:

It's even worse in this country, actually.

See, in the US, because parking spaces are quite enormous (outside of the big cities, anyway), and are generally designed to accommodate big giant 20-foot SUVs like the Cadillac Marmalade or whatever the hell that boat-on-wheels of a pimpmobile is called, the driving test in most states requires students to demonstrate parallel parking. And this isn't too horribly difficult if one remembers a few basic principles of geometry.

In the rest of the world, though, most people reverse-park into spaces - not least because parking spaces are at a real premium in the densely populated parts of Asia and Europe.

And that, my friends, is actually kind of tricky to do.

There are quite a few women, particularly in Eastern Europe, who simply give up on the whole concept of driving. I personally know a Ukrainian woman in her mid-thirties who basically bribed a driving instructor to give her a license. She says that she can drive in a straight line, at a more-or-less constant speed... but anything beyond that becomes tricky.

I made fun of her for saying this and said that if she ever ended up living in the USA she would have a horrid time because Americans drive everywhere. She said, and I quote, "I can try and cry".

There is a reason why, in Eastern Europe, it is expected that the men buy and drive the cars, after all.

The situation is even worse in parts of Asia, actually. In India, the driving tests are a bit of a joke. A guy I once knew told me the story of how he passed his driving "test" there. He got into the car, started up the engine, and waited for the chap to tell him what to do. Said instructor told him: "Drive straight and turn right up ahead".

That was the whole test. I am not making this up - that is a real thing out there.

And people then wonder why India has such a high rate of car accidents and fatalities. (Well, actually this has as much to do with the fact that Indians view traffic signals and lane markers as suggestions instead of hard and fast rules, but you see the point.)

In all seriousness, though - you know who gets annoyed the most by bad women drivers? Good women drivers.

My mum used to drive my sister and me around in Australia quite a lot. The only accident that she ever had was caused by someone else (a woman, actually) doing something stupid which ended up leaving a big hole in the rear bumper of our Toyota Camry. Whenever we spotted an Aussie driver doing something dumb on the road, it was mum who always said, "I'll bet it's a woman driver".

She was usually right, too.

So the Saudis aren't entirely crazy by making it more difficult for women to drive; if anything, they are acting out of a sense of self-preservation.


  1. Sitting in a restaurant I noticed a large SUV (escalade iirc) making a 7 point turn while backing out of a parking spot. I said to myself. "Please don't be a small Asian woman, please."

    Sure enough, it was a small Asian woman, straining to peer over the steering wheel.

    It was funny.

    1. Yep. We've all got one of *those* stories to tell about women drivers. They are the gift that just keeps on giving ))

  2. We were playing golf in a club in Perth and were wandering up to the last tee. An old guy was in front of us, must have been in his 80s. He teed off as we walked up and then we heard a screech and the sound of crunching metal over the road. We got to the old guy and he told us that a motorcyclist had been hit by a car.

    Then he said with a total deadpan face: "Poor bastard never had a chance - Asian female driving a Volvo and wearing a hat."

    1. That's so funny that I'm going to overlook the fact that you were playing - and there is no good way to put this - golf ))

    2. Here in Utah it's little old ladies driving Boats.
      I moved here about 15 years ago with my girl, and had only been in one accident in my LIFE before that, and within the first week, I was sitting at a light in west valley and this gigantic Lincoln pulls out of the parking lot and slams into me.

      This little old lady was sitting behind the steering wheel, and when I walked over started begging me not to call the cops, because she valued her 'independence' and didn't want to lose her license. She didn't want the insurance company called either because she was on a 'fixed income'. Since I was driving a beater I had bought from a friend, I agreed, and she was going to send me a couple hundred to pay for the (very minor) damage. While I was trying to get her info she literally drives off on me.

      No more than two weeks later, I was sitting at the SAME light, and the SAME lady pulls out of the same gas station and slams into me again! I could not believe it. When I walked over to her car, I noticed it had many more dings and dents in it, and she didn't remember me... So I smiled at her, reached into her window, yanked her keys out of the ignition and threw them as far as I could into a field behind the karate studio across the street, and waited for the cops.


Post a Comment

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS. Anonymous comments will be deleted.

Popular Posts