Even worse than expected

I did not bother watching STAR WARS Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. I swore off watching any more Mickey Mouse Wars films after I saw the high-octane yet completely pointless "remix" of the very first film, which served little purpose other than to ram a lot of SJW-friendly nonsense down the throats of the audience.

So I do not have the first clue as to whether The Last Jedi was actually as bad as every more-or-less-sane person thinks it was. After all, I did not see it.

Evidently, I did not miss anything of any value:

Now, obviously, any longtime reader of my writing knows quite well where I stand on the subject of STAR WARS. I walked away from the franchise years ago and have never looked back since. This message is for the undecideds, the nerds, and the self-abusive idiots who constantly indulge in the silly emotional fanboy roller-coaster ride that defines such people.

You know who you are. You are the sort of guy - and it is almost always a guy - who goes through this exact, and highly idiotic, sequence of emotions:
  1. OMG! It's the BEST since EMPIRE! 
  2. Okay, maybe we got a little carried away. But it's still really good! 
  3. Well, I mean, it's all right. 
  4. Actually, there are a lot of things that don't make any sense. 
  5. And are pretty lame, come to think of it. 
  6. This movie sucks. 
  7. Now, what was the second one called? No, the second of the new ones, not the prequels.
Such fans like to pretend that people like me - and, for that matter, many of my readers - are the problem. They like to think that the reason why the latest installments in what used to be a brilliant and epic high-fantasy battle between good and evil disguised in sci-fi clothing keep failing, is because the core group of fans just keep walking away from the franchise. They say that we are not "true fans" because we will not simply sit down, switch off our brains, and meekly swallow whatever crap Disney and its subsidiaries insist on shitting down our throats.

(Yeah, I know, that's disgusting. Guess what - that is Disney's exact marketing strategy at this point.)

Of course, those fanboys have cause and effect exactly backward.

The reason why fans of the old series keep walking away is not because we "grew up" or "grew old". It is because we can see that everything that made the old series great is dead and buried, and what has replaced it is nothing more than a pale and extremely badly written imitation of what went before.

The visuals have certainly gotten better over the 40-year lifespan of the series, to be sure. That is all well and good. But no amount of visual trickery can disguise the complete lack of basic attention to detail, plot, character, world-building, or editing that makes up a truly great film.

If you want an example of a truly amazing visual extravaganza, coupled with an incredible plot and richly detailed characters, depicting an all-out war between apocalyptic evil and the few remaining bastions of good - go watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The reason why it is so brilliant is because it sticks very closely to the source material, which was and remains the greatest example of high fantasy ever written.

And that is because J. R. R. Tolkien - The Master - was himself faithful to the source material that inspired him. He wove an absolutely captivating universe together by pulling in strands of old Norse and Scandinavian mythology and tying it into a very clear Christian allegorical tale. With source material of that level of quality, in the hands of a truly great writer who somehow managed to turn the bedtime stories that he told his grandchildren into a multi-generational saga of triumph, loss, and perseverance in the face of overwhelming odds, we now have the standard by which all other works of fantasy are judged.

With STAR WARS, all we have left are memories of a flawed but endearing and wonderfully imaginative set of films that were themselves rooted in much older stories and lore. Those who have come along since the release of the original trilogy and tried to "improve" or "update" it have done so by completely disrespecting the very things that made it great.

The reason why the original trilogy was so good was because it took complex concepts and ideas and turned them into simple, yet profound, fairy tales - set IN SPAAAAAACE!!!

Good versus evil. Right versus wrong. Faith versus nihilism. Friendship and love versus hate and anger. The eternal human quest for freedom, set against the equally eternal human desire to dominate and conquer.

These ideas are timeless. They are at the root of almost every single great mythos that human minds have conjured up. They sit at the heart of our stories, our legends, our creation myths, and our religious beliefs - well, except for Islam, but that's another issue entirely.

The SJWs who took over STAR WARS do not have anything to offer up in place of these timeless ideas. And because they are SJWs, and therefore incapable of creating anything useful on their own, all that they can do is rehash old ideas and recycle them, but their imitations are of extraordinarily poor quality - because, being shoggoths as they are, they have no understanding of truth, beauty, and artistry.

The core of the problem is that SJWs do not understand that truth and beauty are meant to be both provocative and evocative. SJWs certainly have the ability to provoke - they are going to continue provoking the rest of us right to the point where we decide that we have had enough, and start shooting at them in return. But they do not understand how to evoke - beyond inciting disgust and rage at their cack-handed attempts at imitation.

It is at this point that fans of STAR WARS - or, really, any great old franchise that has been "rebooted" or "reimagined" by SJW-friendly and SJW-led soulless corporations - have a choice to make.

Either they can continue to ride that stupid emotional roller-coaster of theirs, and continue to pay Disney and other corporations to shit all over them. Which, by the way, is what Disney is counting on them to do, because if past behaviour is any guide, that is exactly what they will do. Like emotionally abused and battered wives, they will continue to go right back to the very thing that so thoroughly takes advantage of them, because they know nothing else and live for the emotional highs that come from seeing the scrolling yellow intro and the space battles and the X-wings in action.

To paraphrase our friend Matt Forney: - nobody ever lost money by betting on the masochism and folly of the average STAR WARS nerd.

Or they can do the sensible thing and simply walk away.

Never again pay a single cent for another STAR WARS film. Never buy another toy. Never buy any more branded merchandise. For that matter, boycott as many Disney products as possible and refuse to support their attempts to destroy what little remains of our ancient Western cultures and traditions through their poisonous cultural Marxism.

I know the path I choose. It is up to the remaining fanbase of nerds who continue to support this flaming pile of crap that we used to know as STAR WARS to figure out which way they want to go.


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