Lawyered

This, right here, is why everyone hates lawyers:


Longtime TOP GEAR fans know exactly what spawned this clip, by the way.

Back in the day, Jezza & Co. gave the Tesla Model S Roadster a rather poor review - if you look hard enough you can find that clip from back in Season 12 (I think). While Jeremy loved the Tesla's extreme acceleration and excellent ride, the Roadster got some rather black marks for poor reliability and lousy mileage, with the host claiming that the Tesla would do only 55 miles between charges when driven properly hard around a track. The two Tesla Roadsters that were tested also evidently suffered from major quality issues, with both cars breaking down for various reasons.

Elon Musk, being a bit of a prima donna - allegedly, since I would rather not get sued myself - evidently took serious umbrage at the fact that the world's biggest car show had just slated his brain-child.

So he did what every mature adult billionaire does when gently mocked by a bunch of overgrown eight-year-olds: he sued them for defamation and libel.

To the considerable amusement of TG fans everywhere, he lost.

He then appealed. And lost again.

The funniest part of it all is that Jezza himself is not exactly against electric cars:


And in fact, the TOP GEAR review of the Tesla was not unfair. It was actually quite a well-balanced one. Since Elon Musk refused to let the lawyers just sort it all out in court and insisted on slamming the show publicly every chance that he got, TG producer Andy Wilman offered an understated, well-argued, careful, and detailed point-by-point rebuttal of Poopyface Musk's lawsuit in which, as he pointed out:

1. We never said that the Tesla's true range is only 55 miles, as opposed to their own claim of 211, or that it had actually ran out of charge. In the film our actual words were: "We calculated that on our track it would run out after 55 miles". The first point here is that the track is where we do our tests of sports cars and supercars, as has happened ever since Top Gear existed. This is where cars are driven fast and hard, and since Tesla calls its roadster "The Supercar. Redefined." it seemed pretty logical to us that the right test was a track test. The second point is that the figure of 55 miles came not from our heads, but from Tesla's boffins in California. They looked at the data from that car and calculated that, driven hard on our track, it would have a range of 55 miles.

2. We never said that the Tesla was completely immobilized as a result of the motor overheating. We said the car had "reduced power". This was true.

3. Tesla claims we were lying when we said the brakes were "broken". They now say that all that had happened was that the fuse to the vacuum pump had failed, which meant that the brake just had to be pushed down much harder than usual. Well – to my mind, if the brakes are broken, then they're broken, and if this happened to your car, you'd take it to the garage to get it fixed. Odd it seems so trivial to Tesla now, because on the day of filming they insisted on repairing the fuse before we could carry on driving the car.

The question is, who do we believe - the blokiest blokes ever to bloke across a TV screen, or the playboy billionaire who dates (possibly BPD) actresses and has a penchant for massive publicity stunts?

Well, given that, as far as I or anyone else can figure out:
... well, I know who I would rather believe.

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