We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms... And the impervious shelter beneath which it has prospered.
It is time for every Chad's favourite weekly installment of this wee little blog of alcohol-fueled rants and epic brilliance. This week's heaping helping of eye-candy comes via a Pennsylvanian "glamour model" by the name of Abigail Ratchford - you may have heard of her, she often posts pictures of herself in Stars & Stripes bikinis to celebrate Independence Day and the Superbowl.
God bless a red-blooded American girl, is all I can say. I just hope she isn't a dopey liberal or - Heaven forbid - a feminist.
Then again, she probably is not. She is 25 and smoking hot. Young hot tight girls who rely on their looks tend not to be feminists, unless they work in Hollyweird.
Although Abigail remains grateful for the exposure she's received through social media, she expresses that she wants a career of substance and longevity that doesn't rely on Internet success.
I'm sure you do, luv. Good luck with that. Meanwhile - enjoy the fame and the attention that comes from your looks. Trust us shitlords on this one - it ain't gonna last.
And while we shitlords are on the subject - we should enjoy her looks while they last, too. Because... well, do I really have to explain given the below?
Happy Friday, lads. Time to go do some bench presses, drink some beer, and relax a bit after a long and busy week. Note: you may have some trouble viewing these due to some odd rendering glitch within Blogger. I've no idea why it's happening, but trust me, it's even more infuriating for me than it is for you. Try refreshing a few times, hopefully that will take care of the problem.