We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms... And the impervious shelter beneath which it has prospered.
No, not to me - worthy though that cause would be - but to this brilliant little campaign to help the Canoeheads up north to man up the sackless wonder that is their Prime Minister:
(With - admittedly only half-hearted - apologies to any Canadian readers, but then again, most of you agree with me anyway.)
By the way, that demotivator up top isn't actually mine. I ran into that exact image somewhere, with that exact same caption, but I cannot for the life of me remember where or when. So I had to generate it myself.
To whoever came up with the original caption - you are a genius and I regret the fact that I must shamelessly rip you off. Then again, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
I honestly did not think that it was possible to concoct a more embarrassingly low-T leader of a G-8 nation than President Odoofuss. I have greatly enjoyed mocking President Obama's lack of testicular fortitude for years, and enjoyed the hell out of it. When you put him next to a real and proper Alpha male who knows how to lead a country, the results are startling to observe.
But seeing Prime Minidress Justin Bieber there sitting next to the God-Emperor, evidently shorn of his nut-sack, takes it to a whole new level.
It is no small wonder that Americans generally think of Canadians as their overly polite ambiguously gay cousins - they are led by an effete simpering sackless and deeply confused tweeny-bopper pinup. It seems he was elected basically because he is very cute, to women, anyway, and as such was evidently elected into power in no small part because a large number of horny Canadian women wanted him there.
I mean, when a male model like that has to get up in front of the Canadian Parliament, sweating profusely, in order to debase himself and make a grovelling apology for elbowing a not-particularly-attractive female politician right in the tits, then you just know that your country is kind of boned:
Oof. I can feel my T-count dropping just from watching that gormless goofball.
To the one or two Canucks who read my writing - would you mind explaining for the rest of us what motivated the Great Frozen North to vote in this clown? That is actually a serious question - I would genuinely love to know what Prime Minister Justine Truvada has accomplished thus far beyond mounting an all-out assault of freedom of speech, freedom of association, and national security.