Watch through fingers

Stop me if any of this sounds familiar.

Overweight sad-sack American Beta can't get a handle on his weight, his looks, his finances, or his dating life, and starts to look overseas for a "good traditional woman". He finds a young, slim, somewhat attractive girl from Moscow, pays for her to go with him on trips around the world, and promises her that he will give her everything she asks for if she comes to the US and marries him on a K-1 fiancee visa.

You can guess roughly how well that goes:

Now obviously a lot of this is scripted reality-TV nonsense from a show called 90-Day Fiance, so take what you see with a big heaping helping of salt.

But there is no question in my mind that Jorge, or whatever his name is, comes across as a colossal simp.

He commits virtually every single cardinal sin of Game right there. Every single one of Roissy's/Heartiste's/whatever's Sixteen Commandments of Poon, tossed straight into a woodchipper- along with the dude's manhood and sense of masculine pride.

Not, of course, that he had much to begin with. We men regard fat weaklings with contempt, and rightly so, because they fail most of the primary indicators and tests of masculinity.

There are many working definitions available for masculinity. Most of them are quite badly flawed or incomplete. Jack Donovan's summary works better than most and is probably one of the most complete, and effective, definitions. Simply put, a man's masculinity is defined by his adherence to, and displays of, the four primary masculine virtues: strength, courage, mastery, and honour.

From what I can gather of the life and fortunes of this particular sad-sack of a Beta, he does not exemplify any of these virtues.

He is quite obviously weak, both physically and mentally. He cannot stand up to his new wife at all. He almost physically cowers in fear of her- and she recoils from him in utter contempt because of this.

He certainly lacks courage. If he had any at all, he would have told his Russian wife "NO!" whenever she threw drama or came up with crazy irrational demands for a bigger house, a bigger car, a better lifestyle, or whatever. Yeah, the drama might have gotten worse and he might have had to deal with 

He has no mastery over himself. Every time I see a man in his twenties or thirties who is really overweight, I always find myself asking, "how can any man be so undisciplined?!?".

It actually is not that difficult to for a man to stay in decent shape and keep his weight down. Most men do not need to subject themselves to an intensive and exhausting regime of physical fitness the way that I do. They simply need to have a bit of discipline and some self-respect.

How can any man allow himself to become such a bloated, insipid mockery of manliness??

Granted, my idea of fun, which involves lifting stupidly heavy weights and punching people in the face and following all of that with a hearty dinner of steak and eggs, is probably a little extreme for most people, but I made a conscious decision a long time ago never to be soft or weak again. It really isn't that hard for other men to make a similar choice, especially in wealthy sedentary Western nations.

And of course, this Jorge guy plainly has no honour.

Now, out of all of the insults that can be leveled at a man, accusing him of lacking honour has got to be one of the very worst. In my view it is right up there with calling a man's mother a whore. So I do not make that accusation lightly.

Yet it is clear that this guy wrote cheques that he literally could not cash.

From what I can gather of the background to this whole sad story, he promised his bride-to-be a lifestyle that he then failed to deliver upon. Now, maybe it's just me being an old-school patriarchal jerk, but I don't believe in lying to women. (Or to anyone else, for that matter.) It is not merely that lying is morally wrong; it also leads to insane amounts of drama later, especially where women are concerned. And I don't have the time, patience, or desire to deal with drama, especially when it comes to women. So I don't lie to them.

All of that being said, let it be noted that the woman in question here is an absolute nightmare as well. 

In my (limited) experience with Eastern European women, this Anfisa character displays exactly the same problems that most of her sisters do.

They always start out beautiful, sweet, meek, and feminine. Their beauty is a drug that can hook any man on a massive rush of endorphins and dopamine. It's an incredible feeling, especially for a man forced to suffer through the unbearable bitchiness, absurd attitude, snarkiness, potty mouths, insipidity, vapidity, lack of weight control, and simple lack of quality to be found among Western women.

Coming across an Eastern European woman often feels, at first, like wandering through a burning, barren, horrid desert and stumbling across a verdant lush oasis of soft and quiet comforts.

But all too often, that dreamlike oasis turns out to be a nightmare cloaked in a mirage.

For the beauty and femininity of Eastern European women comes at an often staggering cost, in the form of constant shit-testing, insane drama, and a capacity for lying and misdirection that has to be seen and experienced to be believed.

It is the last part that can be truly devastating- as our buddy Jorge there has been finding out.

What you see with that young lady above is proof of the ancient wisdom that "water takes the shape of the container that it fills". And if you take a reasonably pretty young Eastern European woman with a severe entitlement complex from a "Westernised" large Russian city like Moscow, and take her back to a culture that rewards her for lying, cheating, stealing, and being completely batshit insane, then you are in for a world of hurt.

The lessons to be learned for all men here are straightforward.

First- NEVER make your woman your only and most important priority. Every woman worth having likes to say that she wants to be the sole focus of a man's life- but the moment she actually becomes that focus, she immediately begins to resent him. (Chicks are irrational and touchy-feely. Deal with it.)

Second- never let yourself become lax in your self-discipline, your morals, or your belief in yourself. When things get bad, the man without self-discipline or morality is lost with nowhere to run and nothing to hold on to- but the stoic, hardened man who knows how to keep himself strong will be able to re-centre himself quickly and effectively.

Third- never make promises you cannot keep. This isn't just a simple moral imperative, it is also basic common sense. (Which, as the old saying goes, is always anything but common.) If you like female drama from Hell, then by all means be a dumbass and lie about yourself and make extravagant promises. But if, like me, you prefer to avoid such things and live a relatively free and quiet life, then think with your big head instead of your little one, and keep your intentions simple and straightforward.

And fourth- remember that no woman is ever worth giving up your freedom and your dignity. You will get knocked by the women that get past any defensive layers you have built up and get to you deep inside. The pain of those knockdowns can be extraordinary- imagine taking a shinbone in the liver at full power, repeatedly, for a few days straight, and you'll get an idea of how bad it can be. But that kind of pain passes and wears off, and eventually, a man can become resilient to it if he works on himself hard enough.

If you're going to go for a foreign woman, then bringing an Eastern European specimen back to the West is probably not the best of ideas. Moving "over there", acclimating and acculturating, and becoming something of a "local", and then getting hitched to a sweet, gentle, kind, beautiful example of femininity, is a much better bet.

But, no matter what, never stop improving yourself as a man. The price for slacking off or, worse, never starting in the first place, is severe.


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