What did I just say?!?

The couple (pictured) have been together for five years together and have two children together 

Hot on the heels of my recent post pointing out the dangers of having lavish weddings with women who are clearly in it just for the money, we have news that a Russian oligarch got hitched to his Instagram model wife in a truly bonkers ceremony:

A Russian oligarch threw a lavish wedding reception for his stunning model new wife after finally tying the knot.

Aleksey Shapovalov officially married model Ksenia Tsaritsina, 27, in a luxury ceremony held at Barvikha Luxury Village hotel in Rublekva, in the Russian capital of Moscow.

Despite calling her his wife for the past five years, Shapovalov has only just sealed the deal with the mother of his two children.

Photographs of the grand affair showcase the lavish details including performances from the couple's favourite popstar and rock band. 

Ksenia looked stunning in her wedding gown, which featured intricate beading and a sweetheart neckline. 

But this was not the only dress she wore on her big day. Ksenia was reported to have changed halfway through the night into another dress. 

The second saw the Russian beauty draped in delicate lace and a sweeping veil which reached the floor of her pristine dance floor. 

Guests of the newlyweds were entertained by a Eurovision runner-up Polina Gagarina, 30, and rock band Leningrad. 

The band's frontman Sergey Shnurov, 44, was recently heralded as 'the most popular and the most controversial rock star'.

Their wedding cake was suspended as if it were floating in the air and featured eight tears of intricately decorated sponges with a beaded chandelier finish. 

And the venue was decorated with hundreds of beautiful white flowers, complimenting the glittering chandeliers. 

Shapovalov looked dapper in a dinner suit and black bow tie, as he was seen proudly embracing his new wife.

And that's before we get to the 70-carat diamond engagement ring that he gave his wife:

Earlier this year she showed off a super bling 70-carat diamond ring estimated to be worth a whopping nine million EUR (7.7 million GBP)

Actually, my interest in this story does not (just) come from the fact that a man with more money than sense got married to an extremely gorgeous woman. (It is quite possible that Mr. Shapovalov does, in fact, know what he's doing. More on that shortly.)

No, my interest was piqued because Ms. Tsaritsina was featured in my Memorial Day Friday T&A segment.

As I had pointed out at the time, the young lady in question possesses truly enviable assets and is clearly the kind of trophy wife that any rich man would want to have hanging off his arm.

But she's still a very beautiful, very Russian, woman.

As I've been finding out over the last year or so, Slavic women in general and Russian women in particular are by far the most beautiful in the world- but there is a truly terrible price to be paid for that beauty. It comes in the form of sky-high drama, batshit-insane demands, constant and extreme shit-testing, and a capacity for deception and manipulation that has to be experienced in order for a man to understand it.

That is because the same Russian culture that generates some of the most beautiful, but dysfunctional, women in the world, also generates some of the most dysfunctional men. And whether we like it or not, the fact is that men are always and everywhere responsible for the flaws and failings of their women. This was true all the way back to the Fall of Man in the Bible, and it remains true to this day.

Russian men tend to act like old-school patriarchal alpha males with their women, and that is very much to the good. But they also end up cheating on those same women like dogs, and they tend to die much earlier than their women thanks to their predilection for drinking.

All of this contributes to a decidedly messed up situation when it comes to marriage and family. From what I understand, some fifty percent of kids in Russia now grow up with single parents or in broken families. You have to go look at black American society to see a more dysfunctional group when it comes to marriage and child-rearing.

And all of this means that any man who gets married to a Russian woman, in Russia (or anywhere else), must damned well better know what he is getting himself into. It is quite possible that holding an insanely lavish wedding for one's wife, even when she is as stunning as Ms. Tsaritsina is, may just turn into a very, very expensive mistake.

Now, however, I must play the Devil's Advocate here and point out that there is a high probability that Mr. Shapovalov actually understands full well what he's letting himself in for.


Ksenia splits her time between her native Russia and Dubai

He's a billionaire, and evidently not a stupid one either. So he likely has a prenup in place to limit his losses in case his gorgeous wife throws a shit-fit and decides to pull the pin on the divorce grenade.

He has been with her for five years. She is 27 now, which means that they met and got together in her very early twenties- and therefore he has enjoyed her looks, beauty, and sexual energy right through the prime of her life. From the age of 32 onward, Ms. Tsaritsina's looks will start to degrade.

And while Slavic women gain weight and lose beauty at a slower rate than their counterparts among other races (which is one of their many attractions), there does come a point where age catches up on them in a very big hurry:


It's funny because it's (mostly) true
On top of all of that, she has already given him two children- during the prime of her child-bearing years- and has plenty of time left to give him more.

All in all, Mr. Shapovalov is in a highly enviable position: more money than he knows what to do with, a stunningly beautiful wife who will hold on to her looks for a good long while yet, two children with great genetics and perhaps more to come, and (hopefully) a reasonably happy family life.

It is entirely possible that he does, in fact, have a pretty damn good idea what he's doing. I sincerely hope so, for his sake. As I've said before, I do not actually enjoy crapping on other men's marriages and I do wish those who choose to get married the very best of luck. Marriage was, and remains, the bedrock of stable civilisation.


The model lives a jet-set lifestyle and shares images of her exploits with her online followers on social media platforms

(Yes, I did scatter pictures of his wife throughout this article just for gratuitous eye-candy. So what?)

Obviously, different rules apply here for billionaires. The wedding that Mr. Shapovalov shelled out for may have cost him many millions of dollars- amounting to hundreds of millions of rubles- but the time-value of a single dollar is very different to a billionaire than it is to a millionaire. (This requires some explanation, which I will get to in a future post.)

Billionaires are able to hire the best lawyers, and can part with eye-watering sums of money that would cause the rest of us to curl up into the foetal position and weep without so much as a second glance. If they get divorced, no matter how fat and out of shape they might be, they can always find a hot girl to hang off their arms.


Exhibit A: The lovely wife of the God-Emperor
So billionaires can certainly get away with a lot. But in the end, the laws of human socio-sexual dynamics always win out.

The exceptions always and everywhere prove the rule. If you're going to get married, it's generally a good idea to marry a woman who is one or two notches below you in the sexual market place. It's generally a good idea to marry her young, before she starts riding the carousel. It's generally a good idea to have children with her when she's in her mid-to-late twenties.

It is ALWAYS a good idea in this day and age to get as strong a prenup as you possibly can.

And it is NEVER a good idea to spend more than the annual GDP of some African hellholes on the wedding itself. It could well be that the woman you are spending all of this time, money, and attention on is completely different from the one that you thought you fell for.

Comments

  1. I was going to point that out last time you mentioned Slavic women. They are disproportionately hot, but they have a very firm "sell by" date. And it's not a gradual turn, either; once they hit a certain age, BAM! It's Hottya Hottovich to Mrs. Kruschev overnight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Technically it's probably "Hottya Hottovna" )).

      Your point is quite valid. I've seen the same thing. It seems to hit right around their early forties for many of them, definitely by 50 for probably 95% of them.

      There are the odd genetic aberrations that are able to get past this and keep looking gorgeous for a while longer- but they are very few and very far between.

      Delete
  2. He's a Russian oligarch. This will sound ignorant but isn't he, daddy Putin and his friends supposed to be the ones who make the rules of the country and therefore exempt from them? So if he is divorced from the marriage he will probably keep his money and his kids unlike some average rich dudes who lose much more. I'm just speculating here but this dude doesn't look like the average rich guy (not just in terms of pocket money but also influence).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not an ignorant question. I suspect that Iron Vlad is happy to intervene on behalf on his oligarch friends- provided that they stay out of his political affairs, and provided that their divorces happen under Russian jurisdiction.

      If, however, they happen in foreign jurisdictions, then there doesn't seem to be much that he can or will do.

      See e.g. Dmitry Rybolovlev's divorce under Swiss law.

      And then there is Roman Abramovich's divorce under, probably, British law. Which will take him to the cleaners.

      Delete

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