Still completely and totally retarded

Yet again, just when you thought it was safe to go back into the gym- CROSSFIT STRIKES!!!:


Kyrie, eleison.

Honestly, what is wrong with people who do CrossShit?!? And, yes, I am well aware that some of my readers do CrossFit. My feelings on the subject are well known by now; I make no apologies for the fact that I find the entire idea of CrossFit to be appallingly stupid.

I am also well aware that there are several Manosphere types, and several genuine ex-military badasses, who do CrossFit. Fortunately, they know damned well that CrossFit is often a one-way ticket to injury and severe pain:


Indeed, if even those who enthusiastically embrace CrossFit acknowledge that it can be an absolutely horrible idea for one's health and well-being, then why the hell do people KEEP DOING IT?!?

The only answer that I can come up with is that CrossFit is a cult.

One of the things that I've learned over the past 6 years of powerlifting and martial arts is that very, very few people have the discipline, drive, and mental fortitude to work out by themselves. They hate being alone because they have never spent time by themselves.

For them, the idea of beasting out completely alone in the dark, dank, musty, chalk-covered corner of the gym with just a squat rack and a hell of a lot of weight on the bar, makes no sense.

For far too many men, their idea of "exercise" involves wallowing along on the treadmill with their girl-shaped land manatee next to them, under TV screens showing something truly retarded. (Like Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Which I have actually seen in the gym in my own building).

I am very different, and so are all of those like me.

For me, powerlifting is therapy. It is an outlet. It is a way to face fear and pain, and to transform those same things into strength and triumph.

And I don't need a squad of mates cheering me on to make my next lift.

CrossFitters apparently need that, and more, just to bounce over a haystack. Never mind asking them to lift weights properly- even with a couple of squadmates, they still can't manage it:



If you're thinking of paying $125 or more a month to join a CrossFit box, just so that you can have a bunch of other assclowns cheer you on for doing compound exercises with horrible form while some Average Joe who paid $2K for a weekend training program and a certificate yells at you to go faster and pile on the weight, then kindly follow this exact sequence of steps:

  1. Take your right hand and extend it straight out and forward, palm facing you;
  2. Slap yourself with it, HARD
Then go to the nearest cheap dimly lit BO-smelling old man's gym with lots of squat racks and absurd amounts of free weights costing maybe $50 a month. And, as Pavel Tsatsouline once said, "chain yourself to the squat rack and call me in a year".

You're welcome.

Comments

  1. I hate working out alone for two reasons:
    1. On Arm and chest days I like to go heavy free until I can barely lift my hands, let alone replace the bar. a Spotter is absolutely necessary. On Leg day sometimes I need someone to drive me home (feet barely work).
    2. I am well aware that my pushing through pain is not strong without a drill sergeant standing by. Fortunately, I have a few friends that fit the bill.

    Only a total loser tries to pick up gym pussy. If you get the swoll, you can get the pussy ANYWHERE. Don't be one of those thirsty trust funds that competes over the camwhore who is only there to be fawned over by day traders with more money than discipline.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate working out alone for two reasons

      Readily conceded. I guess I should have made it clear that I was referring to the candy-asses, who wouldn't know how to use the gym properly even if the knowledge was beaten into them.

      For REAL lifters, though, spotters are a necessity.

      Only a total loser tries to pick up gym pussy

      I've never done this. But there are plenty of guys (goys?) that I've seen at the various gyms that I've frequented who did do it. And it's retarded.

      Delete

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