The basics of gym etiquette

Most of my readers, being manly men of manliness, fully understand how to behave in the church of iron every time they go for regular worship services. There is absolutely no need to remind them of the expected codes of conduct, or the rites to be observed, in the never-ending quest for swoleness. They know the Commandments of the Lord of Iron by heart.

However, every once in a while, a noob walks into the gym and, being greener than grass and therefore without the sense that God gave a honey badger, he needs to be reminded of what it means to enter the holiest of holies.

Which is where the Buff Dudes come in, with this handy little guide informing the less experienced manlets among the gym-going crowd how to behave in the presence of the iron:

Actually, the Buff Dudes do way more than produce hilarious videos involving crazy-hot girls in yoga pants. It turns out that they're also interested in passing on their buff genetics to the next generation:

Good on him for doing so, and best of luck to him and his new family. I really mean that; the world needs more strong men who understand what real strength is and how it is earned. I know that if I am ever lucky enough to be a father to sons, I will be introducing them to powerlifting and martial arts from a very early age.

This world is full of weak, pussified manginas. If we are to make our culture great again, then we need as many strong and healthy men as we can possibly find. That starts with you and me, and with the next generation of boys that we forge into men.


  1. I thought the rules were simple. Use the equipment for what it's meant for, Mind your own business, Wait your turn, clean up your sweat, and if you have any question about a particular exercise or piece of equipment, ask one of the folks that work there.

    Is there something I am missing?

    1. You're right. The rules are simple. Most n00bs don't know that, though )

  2. 1. No curling in the squat rack
    2. No curling in the squat rack
    3. No curling in the squat rack
    4. No curling in the squat rack
    5. No curling in the squat rack

    1. True. They forgot this simple rule.

      The corollary to this is:
      "If you curl in the squat rack, do not be surprised if you get shot in the ass and thrown out of the gym face-first."

      The punishment fits the crime, after all.


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