"Hey, I told you that I'm a vegan, right?!?"

Back during the earlier seasons, House, M.D. was really, really funny at times, particularly during the scenes when Hugh Laurie's famously misanthropic doctor had to deal with patients at his hospital's free walk-in clinic.

There was a rather good set of scenes during Season 3 which starred Piper Perabo, who I remember with a certain fondness from a (very cheesy and mostly quite terrible) cult comedy film from nearly 20 years ago called Coyote Ugly. She was quite a looker back then, and despite being over 40 today, is still the sort of woman that most red-blooded men would look at and say, "... yeah, why not".

In this specific set of scenes, House puts a vegan firmly in her place:

Yes, most vegans are, in fact, that insufferable in real life. They're worse, actually- they cannot wait to tell you that they're vegan.

The funniest interactions with vegans inevitably tend to centre around food, which usually look something like this:
There are, to be sure, a few good vegans out there. I happen to be good friends with one, he is one of the instructors at my martial arts school and I respect him immensely.

But he is something of a rarity among vegans- he isn't vegan by choice, he's vegan because his body has some sort of enzyme issue with digesting animal proteins. (Don't ask me what the exact condition is, I'm not a doctor and I've never asked him.) And UNLIKE most other vegans that I know, he doesn't feel the need to jump into the middle of every unrelated conversation to inform everyone present that he is, in fact, a vegan.

That's it- when the Didact is officially made Supreme Overlord of All Mankind, entirely for the good of the planet, of course, my first act of benevolent kindness to the peoples of this planet will be to decree that all homes, cars, workplaces, and offices MUST have bacon-scented air fresheners installed at all times.

If that doesn't cure veganism PDQ, I don't know what will.

Well, severe beatings might. But some vegans have black belts in martial arts (like my buddy above), so that could prove to be an issue...


  1. Perabo was quite attractive, but I haven't seen her lately.

    I found House too formulaic to watch. Person presents with medical issue. First thing tried doesn't work. Second thing tried doesn't work. 7 minutes left in episode and guess what, third time's the charm. Stopped watching after the first 5-6 episodes.

  2. My patience for Vegans is inversely proportionate to how cool they are that I'm not one. If they show up to a barbecue, bring their own stuff, and don't give anybody else any shit, everything's generally cool. If they get pissy about it, I just firmly but politely inform them that I have a big back yard for grazing, and they're more than welcome to it.


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