In which I am greatly upset
Dear friends, dear deplorables, I say this from the bottom of my heart – I’ve never liked any of you. It’s all just been a fake. Here you sit, on your internet sites, thinking that the world gives a damn, when in fact all your hits come from spotty teenage boys in mainland China. That’s why you don’t sell any of your crappy books.
Cappy, I say this with great feeling – it’s over. Nobody ever liked you. Nobody. Maybe that Davis guy once, but he’s now in the corner singing mau-mau songs and smelling his guns. You’re getting old. Look at you. The hair, the beard, if that’s what you call it. All of your videos are terrible. Really they are. We just said we liked them to make you feel better. But we know you went to college. Look around, Aaron. There’s not a friend here who loves you. But Aaron’s having a fine time. He’s never had so much money; ask his girlfriend.
And Vox. You’re living there in Italy; who do you think you are, George Clooney? Not with that hair. You’re making a fool of yourself, you’re going nowhere. I have a message for you, Vox – Marco Mangananzo was hurt; Fambino Bombazo, two bullets in the head Thursday. Vox Day is one of the greatest editors in the business. Just ask him, he’ll tell you. He’ll tell anyone. I say that and all of his vile faceless minions are there and they’re saying, “Is that okay, Vox? Can we laugh at that?”
There’s Didact. What sort of name is that, anyway? Did you find it off a box of Cheerios? Look at you with all the flies hanging around you. Here’s some mud – finish your hut. But we like having Didact around. I mean, who else would we get to taste our soup?
How upsetting. How very, very upsetting indeed. Can you not see how upset I am?
I mentioned that I'm upset, right?
I get no respect, dude. I plug a guy's book and he turns around and plugs me right back- in the face!
And yes, in case anyone is still wondering- he was taking the piss, so if you didn't get that, you might want to look into buying a sense of humour.
Adam is a terrific guy, a great writer, and an all-round righteous dude. His blog and guest posts for Men of the West should be on your daily reading list.