Nobody cares about her acting "talent"

Back in April, the ever-entertaining Razorfist pointed out the utter ridiculousness of the charge of "cultural appropriation" being leveled at the upcoming live adaptation of the classic anime Ghost in the Shell:

In the process of ripping the entire absurd argument to shreds- and it is absurd, since as he points out Japanese comic books, cartoons, and films have shamelessly and repeatedly borrowed from, ripped off, and outright plagiarised Western sources- our mouthy friend pointed out one critically important truth:

Scarlett Johansson cannot act.

Here is the proof:

And, as was also quite emphatically noted, nobody gives a shit.

Which is only logical. I mean, why would anyone care, given the soft, ponderous, curvaceous reasons why Ms. Johansson is called an actress in the first place?

Uh... Guys? My face is UP HERE!!!
Now, to be clear, there is nothing in the world wrong with a woman whose primary and most interesting attributes are her epic tits, making money off of the same. No straight man in his right mind has any problem with such a thing.

What men do have a problem with is being told that somehow a movie or TV show or book is now "culturally appropriating" source material from some other nation or culture and is therefore unworthy of being weighed on artistic merit alone.

Here is a news flash for the SJW crowd: we are fully capable of making up our own minds about whether or not this new movie is going to be terrible, thank you very much. Since you are social justice warriors, you can take your opinions and shove them back along the orifice that crapped them out in the first place.

For the record, I do think the new Ghost in the Shell adaptation is going to blow. Just about every single Western adaptation of a Japanese anime or manga has been moronically stupid and ham-handed with respect to the original source material. (There are some exceptions, to be sure- I'm thinking specifically of the epic 1980s mecha series Robotech, which was in fact an agglomeration of three separate, completely unrelated, Japanese anime franchises with new voice overdubs. But they are few and far between.)

Western adaptations of Japanese source material tend to work best when they borrow specific elements from the originals and then rework the source to fit Western tastes and culture. That was why The Matrix actually was rather a good movie- it borrowed specific anime tropes, ideas, and themes and adapted them into a framework and story centred around some of the more abstract (read: pretentious) questions that had occupied modern Western philosophers for the better part of a decade.

Where Hollywood tends to go horribly and utterly wrong is when they adapt Japanese work more or less wholesale.

Anyone remember Dragonball: Evolution? Or the first Western attempt to make a Godzilla movie? Or the second, considerably superior but still not quite amazing, Godzilla film from a few years ago?

Japanese and Western cultures are very different- this much is immediately obvious even to a blind chipmunk. There is much that each could learn from the other. In the process of that learning, there will be certain (considerable) failures of translation and adaptation. The live-action Ghost in the Shell will almost surely be one of those errors, but that doesn't mean that we should boycott it simply because it offends some idiot SJW's concept of "cultural appropriation".

No, we should avoid seeing it because it is terrible- and I could very well be wrong about that.

On the plus side, if you do go to see it, remember that at the beginning of the 1985 OVA film (and the considerably more visually arresting 2000 remaster), Motoko Kusanagi is naked as a baby throughout several sequences. Like this one:

Now imagine the wooden but thoroughly pneumatic Ms. Johansson in the same position and role, and you'll get a very good idea as to the reasons why straight men will be interested in seeing this movie.


  1. OK.

    She's HAWT - when the hair and makeup guys aren't royally making her look like shit.

    She also does have a physical grace.

    Oh, and nice tits.

    Crud, ran out of good things to say.

    Proof that she cannot do subtlety? Among other things she played an alien in some indie/art film and was... wooden? not sure - even willows can bend more than her face did.

    1. And then there was her performance as Kaa, the rock python, in the latest (mal)adaptation of The Jungle Book. I mean, I didn't think it would be possible for me to hate the live-action film more than I do the cartoon with the dancing bear in it (at least, nowadays- I grew up watching that old movie), but ScarJo proved me very wrong indeed.


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