There is a certain crazy dingbat who goes by the name of "Madonna"- you may have heard of her, especially if you grew up during the 1980s- who racked up a fair few pop hits back in her day. One or two of them are actually kind of fun to listen to, if you're in a mood to drive a drumstick through at least one of your eardrums.

Also, back when she was considered by most teenage boys to be really hot, she looked like, well, this:

Not exactly a disaster, all told. Personally I never really saw what the fuss was all about, but then by the time I got around to puberty, Madonna was about 40, so that's not really surprising.

Nowadays, however, Madonna looks a bit more like... erm... this:

Now, I'm a metalhead. Normally I could not care less what some jumped-up popstar has-been, who is clearly about twenty years past her "best-by" date, looks like or does. The only female musical personalities I care about can actually sing- see e.g. Charlotte Wessels or Floor Jansen.

Recently, however, Madonna came to my attention thanks to her comments while introducing fellow old, fat, ugly blonde girl Amy Schumer in New York City last night- those of you with weak constitutions might want to swallow a Dramamine or three before reading the rest, by the way:
Pop star Madonna got raunchy while introducing comedian Amy Schumer at a performance in New York City Tuesday night, promising the crowd sexual favors in exchange for their support of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. 
“If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blowjob. OK?” the 58-year-old Rebel Heart singer told an audience at New York’s Madison Square Garden Tuesday night. “I’m really good. I’m not a douche, and I’m not a tool. I take my time, I have a lot of eye contact, and I do swallow.” [SAYS WHO, lady?!?! Your ex-husband?! He's your ex, remember?!!!]
Oh hell, there goes my lunch. I knew I shouldn't have read this just after eating Mexican food...

So let's get this straight: a crazy, used-up old hag wants to suck-start your engine in order to get you to vote for another crazy, used-up, seriously evil old hag who wants to take all of your money and cut off your balls.

Does anyone else see anything seriously messed up in that proposition?

I don't know how you lot feel about voting for the Hilldebeast- probably similar to the way I do, I suspect- but I'm not sure there is a woman alive who could convince me to vote for the Rottenmuncher, no matter how many sexual favours she were to trade.

I don't care if I got home tonight and found that somehow Lauren Bacall back in her prime had been magically transported into my bed and was lying there naked as a baby- if she were to say to me, "I'm going to stay looking like this for the rest of your life and I'm yours to command, for as long as you live- but ONLY if you vote for Hillary Clinton", I'd have to boot her out on her (perfectly formed) arse.

(I'm not saying I'd like having to do that, mind you. Fortunately I would be spared the pain that such a decision would cause, since I am not allowed to vote in American elections.)

That is how unpalatable the Hilldebeast is as a candidate for President. She is quite simply the most venal, corrupt, mendacious, duplicitous, and downright dangerous person- never mind distinguishing between man or woman- that has run for the office of the Presidency in recent memory.

In fact, the only thing that should terrify you more than the idea of another "President Clinton" is the idea of letting a certain aging pop star anywhere near your junk with those teeth of hers.


  1. Yeah, don't want THAT anywhere near my equipment thank you. I prefer to remain without disease.

  2. Eduardo the Magnificent20 October 2016 at 17:47

    To be fair, if she's telling the truth about her abilities, she would be giving a better beej than 80% of the sluts out there. So she has that going for her, which is nice. Still, WNB.

    1. if she's telling the truth about her abilities, she would be giving a better beej than 80% of the sluts out there


      Washed-up 80s pop icons that have gone full SJW are not generally known for their good judgement or ability to tell the truth.

  3. Madonna looked great. Then she cutted her hair. Historically, I would say the last music video she did(that she was attractive to my eyes) was "Dress you up". After that she dropped from the scale like she had concrete blocks on her feet. I imagine that even she knows how difficult it is for the SheBitsh to win, to make that kind of proposition to the audience.

  4. WRT Madonna, one is reminded of the old punch line, "We've already established what you are, Madam, now we're merely negotiating your price."

    1. By the way, as long as you were in a state that was as safe as could be for the Hildebeest, you could take Lauren up on her offer with a reasonably clear conscience.


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