So my buddy and I were driving back from a fight night through upstate New York, through some truly spectacular countryside along the interstate winding through the Adirondacks and the Catskills, when we passed a town with a rather curious name.
My friend turned to me and said that, being from somewhere nearby as he was, his high-school sports teams always had a not-very-friendly rivalry with their compatriots from over in Coxsackie Town, and insisted on calling them "Cock-Suckers".
I replied that, with a name like "Coxsackie", they really were sort of asking for it- er... so to speak.
But that wasn't the most hilarious town name along the road. Oh no. That singular honour would have to belong to the town of Climax, NY.
Yes, there is such a place, sitting right off the I-87:
If you happen to be from Climax... would you mind making sure that you wash your hand before you shake mine, please?
It really cannot be easy for folks living in that town. Can you imagine hearing your friends say, "hey bro, we're going to Climax on this trip!" without your mind immediately going to the gutter?
I suppose it would be possible for young out-of-town girls to take advantage of this town's peculiar name, of course. There is NO WAY they would ever be left alone at a bar if they uttered the words, "Hi! I'm Jenny, I live in Manhattan, and I've come to Climax on a holiday!!!".
There is just no end to the number of jokes that you could have at this town's expense. I'm sure it's a very nice place and all- many towns nestled in those hills sit alongside natural lakes and rivers, and are prime examples of the real America for which I have so much regard and affection. But you just know that you're not going to be taken seriously with a name like that.
Naming a town "Climax" in this day and age is a lot like naming your son "Richard"- when your last name is "Head". (That DID in fact happen at my old high school in Oz- verified by an old gym teacher of mine.)