How it should have ended

Back in the days when I actually did bother to watch network "TellAVision", as our friend Keoni Galt likes to say, there was a show on ABCNNBCBS called How I Met Your Mother. I am somewhat ashamed to admit- now- that I actually liked some of it.

The story was funny- up to a point, I guess. The early seasons were a lot of fun to watch, mostly because of Neil Patrick Harris's quite excellent turn as a player and expert pickup artist. He put an amusing spin on some of the most elemental aspects of game, and he did it in such a way that most of the audience never even noticed it.

But for those of us who had the eyes to see, we knew exactly what he was talking about.

The problem, of course, is that the entire show is steeped in political correctness and an appallingly poor understanding of human nature. (Or at least, it's poor to those of us who know better. When I first started watching the show, I most assuredly did not know better.) And inevitably for a show founded on such terrible premises, it eventually neutered itself and became lame, painfully unfunny, excruciatingly saccharine, and astonishingly stupid.

But the absolute worst part of the show had to be the series finale- more precisely, the very last episode of the two-part finale.

It started out rather well, with a storyline showing how Ted Mosby and his fiance- played by Cristin Milioti, who was just about the right mix of cute, endearing, charming, and silly- were getting on in their lives. The best part was about 8 minutes before the end, where Ted re-proposes to his fiance and spends time with his friends reminiscing over the long, painful, difficult road that led him to finally marry the right woman.

In a lot of ways, Ted's marriage to his wife makes a very great deal of sense. The show spent eight long and ridiculous years pretending that a nice-guy Beta male like Ted could pull gorgeous women repeatedly and easily. In reality, anyone who is as big a doormat as Ted Mosby is would be about as likely to meet, date, and bang twenty (count 'em!) beautiful women, not including his future wife, as I would be to become the next President of the United States of America.

But the season finale showed him marrying a cute, devoted, and endearing woman with most of the domestic qualities needed to be a good wife. It was pretty much the right way to end the show.

Unfortunately, this being commercial mass-produced television for a decadent and dying civilisation, the writers ruined it all by creating one of the absolute worst endings possible.

What they should have done was stick with the "official alternate ending":

It's not a great ending from the perspective of anyone who has any idea what marriage is really about, but it's not quite the disgusting politically correct poison that the original ending was either.

For all of the nonsense and stupidity in that show, it did make one point very well: finding the right woman to settle down with, these days, is becoming increasingly difficult with every passing day. The show portrayed Ted dating any number of women pretty much maxed out on the classic hot-crazy scale; while most of them would plainly have been well out of his league in real life, the show illustrated quite nicely that any reasonably high-status guy would still find it extremely difficult to find a woman worth his time that wasn't also completely batshit insane.

In the end, though, the show would have had him settle down with a woman who was cute, rather than Amber-Heard-hot, and not completely crazy. That is realistic and right for most men.

And then they jacked it all up by portraying him as having nursed a truly epic case of oneitis for something like 25 years, before making him literally run straight back to the aging and dried-out shell of his former flame, Robin Scherbatsky.

In the end, that show reminds me of everything that I hate about mainstream network television, and why I stopped watching that garbage. A show that wraps up by arguing that a washed-up careerist woman who was once extremely attractive can always find happiness eventually in the arms of some sad-sack Beta male does not deserve a good reputation. And a show that argues that a man should hang on for dear life to an unrealistic dream of a woman who has already rejected him several times over, in the hopes of finding his way back to her eventually, is pure cultural Marxist poison and deserves to be remembered as such.


  1. I agree. The first season was outstanding, if only for showing how Barney changed from a Epsilon (c'mon, he wasn't even a Delta or Gamma) into a ladykiller. I was as disappointed as you were in the finale. If you are up for it, here is my reaction to it:


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