Flop Gear

To precisely nobody's surprise, the "new and improved" TOP GEAR sucks harder than your housekeeper's vacuum cleaner:
The BBC show, presented by Chris Evans, has fallen below 3 million viewers for its second episode of the new series
It attracted just 2.8 million viewers on Sunday night, a 14 per cent share of the audience, losing more than a third, though peaked at 3.3 million (a 15.8 per cent share). Actor Damian Lewis and F1 driver Jenson Button guest starred in the episode. 
Last week's first episode drew an overnight audience of 4.3 million viewers, but had many more on catch-up services and on the BBC’s iPlayer. 
Evans, who took over hosting duties from Jeremy Clarkson, had previously said that he would be “disappointed” if the show drew less than 5 million viewers.
You know I hate to brag, but... I TOTALLY called this.

So how exactly did I greet the least surprising news that I've encountered all year?

Something like this:

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *gasp wheeze pant* HA HA HA...

Not, of course, that this was particularly hard to see coming. Actually, the only people who thought the rebooted, neutered version of THE GREATEST TV SHOW OF ALL TIME would not suck ass were probably the people making the show. Poor stupid optimistic bastards...

I have not watched any of the new Top Gear. I refuse to have anything to do with it now that the madcap geniuses- all of them white, middle-aged, and very much male, by the way- have left to start up their own show on Amazon Prime. But it should not be at all surprising that the Beeb's attempts to make the new show more "culturally sensitive" and "relevant" and "interesting" and "representative" have backfired, spectacularly.

So great is the new show's failure, in fact, that the mainstream left-wing media in Britain is trying desperately to find any optimistic smoke signals coming from the raging inferno that is the once-great mascot of British television. If you read further into that Telly article I linked to above, you'll see that they were spinning the calamitous drop in ratings faster than a dervish can dance.

But no amount of spin and nonsense can cover up the fact that the new Top Gear simply is not nearly as much fun as the old one was. The chemistry between three fat, creaky middle-aged blokes who were all best mates and liked to have a bit of a laugh while doing ridiculously silly things is gone. You're not going to be able to replace it by adding more presenters. You sure as hell aren't going to replace it by making those presenters tick the right demographic "boxes"; there is now apparently a black guy, an Asian guy, an old guy, another old guy who used to be on some other TV show that was quite famous for a while, and a woman in there.

That woman, by the way, is one hell of a great driver. Sabine Schmitz is known as the Queen of the Nurburgring, and with very good reason. She is a demon behind the wheel.

But does that automatically mean that she should be a co-host on the world's most famous car show?

The old show was unapologetically loud, over the top, ridiculous, absurd, crazy, mesmerising, brilliant, bonkers, spectacularly offensive at times, and quite simply unique in every way. The new show looks like it's trying way too hard not to offend anyone- and in so doing, has lost every last bit of the roguish charm that made the Clarkson-Hammond-May years such a joy to watch.

They turned the rampaging Top Gear stallion into a neutered, sterile mule. I'm sure the Bullshit Broadcasting Corporation feels very pleased with itself.

By the way, it could very well be that the new show that Clarkson et al are looking to launch on Amazon Prime might also flop. The format that they presented on the BBC was unique and was able to take advantage of the Beeb's global broadcasting footprint; an internet-only show will probably not translate to global audiences quite as well, even if they have a much bigger budget.

But anyone who has ever seen those three on screen together, or as part of Top Gear Live, knows full well that the bonds of friendship between them, the chemistry that they have together, and the sheer zaniness of their characters, will shine through no matter where they appear.

I know one thing for sure, though: the SJWs destroyed Top Gear, and now they're watching as the new, "improved", converged show crashes and burns. Meanwhile, those of us who stuck loyally to the crazy cowboys who made that show great, can look forward to a return to greatness on an independent distribution channel.

Should make for some very compelling television, if nothing else.


  1. You called it allright. None of us are are surprised of course. Only the SJWs deluded by their own nonsense would be.

    1. Yep. Only an SJW would think that putting a woman in charge of the show, and adding a more "diverse" cast, would turn a show made BY men, FOR men, into something better.

  2. You missed a little gem though and that's called 'Extra Gear'. Basically an extra car review mini show which was actually 100 times better than the main show. I haven't watched the main show but Extra Gear was worth watching through a free streaming website.

    Chris Hariss and Rory Reid are both very solid and entertaining car reviewers and I hope these two will eventually drift off of BBC and resume their youtube careers. They can easily start putting episodes with just car commentary or car news in general and do some car reviews. Those two have taken a step back as car journalists and overall fanatic petrol heads.

    Also Sabina and Evans are both so rich that they could have started their own mini show and make a deal on another network. Evans has at least 5 ferrari cars in his garage one of which (the old california) is worth over 15 million British pounds so there is no excuse for a petrol head such as him to go into this stupid show.

    So much wasted potential here.


Post a Comment

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS. Anonymous comments will be deleted.

Popular Posts