The care and feeding of deep introverts (udpated)
How to Spot a Deep Introvert
How to Work Alongside a Deep Introvert
How to Work For a Deep Introvert
How to Manage a Deep Introvert
How to Date a Deep Introvert
How to Raise a Deep Introvert
And ensure that you have a lot of books around. Otherwise your kid is going to drive you insane asking you for yet another book about dinosaurs or dogs or ecology.
Gift Ideas for Introverts
- Noise-cancelling headphones;
- Books, books, and more books- you CANNOT go wrong with giving a deep introvert a book. Just please for God's sake ensure that it's not "mainstream" literature (you know, of the Fifty Shades mommy-porn variety) ;
- Video games- by which I mean, really good games, preferably with a sci-fi/fantasy bent, like the HALO, Crysis, or The Witcher series;
- Rare DVD boxed sets- LOTR extended edition boxed sets, certain great old-school cartoons like Batman: The Animated Series, stuff like that;
- Musical instruments (for those of us who are musically inclined);
- A Linux distribution on a DVD or USB stick- you've not seen a nerdy introvert truly geek out until you've given him a copy of Knoppix or Gentoo or Slackware and then asked him to optimise it;
- Food- many of us have learned the hard way to be self-sufficient when it comes to food, and we are genuinely very grateful and appreciative when other people take the time and trouble to make good food for us;
Dos and Don'ts With Introverts
- Don't repeat yourself. It bores and annoys us beyond measure and causes us to space out very quickly.
- Don't be vapid or content-free in your speech. We'll immediately assume that you have no idea what you're talking about and proceed to ignore you.
- Don't try to act smarter than you are. We have very finely tuned BS detectors and have no patience for it. If you do this, do not be surprised when we make you look like ten degrees of idiot in public.
- Don't be incompetent, at least not around us. Incompetence is something that irritates us beyond mortal comprehension. Being deep introverts, we generally won't say anything, we'll simply get on with doing our job and then do yours for good measure so that we can get the hell out the door faster. You'll look great in the short term, but we'll also put in place an exit strategy that means that when- not if, but when- we leave, you'll end up wearing your arse around your ears. Like a hat.
- Don't try to talk to us if we have headphones on. Seriously, how difficult is this to figure out? WE"RE BLOCKING OUT THE REST OF THE WORLD FOR A REASON. Talk to us via office IM or email, you're actually more likely to get a coherent and thoughtful response that way.
- Don't make small talk. We can't friggin' stand it. Nothing about the weather or your kid's football game is anything like as interesting as the non-stop dialogue going on in our heads.
- I suppose I ought to include at least one do, so... how about this- do keep things short, sweet, and to the point. How's that?