The real Modern Man List


Remember that ridiculous list that New York Times "journalist" Brian Lombardi wrote up back in October? The one where he appeared to be suffering from acute vaginal cramping, and ended up claiming that the mark of a real man is his possession of a F!@#ING MELON BALLER? The one that "six-foot-five bearded murder hobo" Larry Correia fisked so brilliantly?

Today I stumbled across a page that does much more than just tear Brian Lombardi a new asshole- much though he thoroughly deserved it. As manly men, it is up to us to suggest solutions to these problems, not just to bitch and moan about the stupidity and effeminate, limp-wristed stupidity of manginas like Mr. Lombardi when they do something as stupid as writing that list.

A chap named Adam Piggott, whose book I am looking forward to reading soon, did precisely that with a series of posts designed to lay out twenty-eight traits of a true modern man. And I have to say, he's doing a mighty fine job thus far.

Here is what Mr. Piggott has come up with by now:
1st trait: The modern man is moderate. 
2nd trait: The modern man shaves every day. 
3rd trait: The modern man does not apologize. 
4th trait: The modern man works out. 
5th trait: The modern man never orders a bottle of wine that can be opened without a corkscrew. 
6th trait: The modern man rides a motorbike. 
7th trait: The modern man has traveled. 
8th trait: The modern man does not waste time or money on a college degree. 
9th trait: The modern man spends less than he earns. 
10th trait: The modern man is confident. 
11th trait: The modern man has spent time alone. 
12th trait: The modern man does not eat with his mouth open. 
13th trait: The modern man knows how to cook. 
14th trait: The modern man is not offended.
Well played, sir. I look forward to seeing the rest of this list once it is completed. 

Comments

  1. OK - I'm not a wine snob though I enjoy wine, so number 5 doesn't matter to me one whit - and not having a corky wine that's gone bad has a value too.

    One reason I use a DE razor is I can shave every other day, and still have a closer shave the following day than any electric razor, and several cartridge blades.

    Doing so - and switching to DE blades as well - has saved me from a lot of razor bumps while still staying reasonably groomed.

    That said, I agree overall.

    And if he doesn't add it himself, I'd add a 29th, with credit to Larry Niven regarding "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" - Real men eat whatever the hell they want.

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  2. Hi Didact,

    Thanks for linking through to me, much appreciated. And I hope you enjoy the book. Let me know what you think of it.

    Midknight,

    The fifth trait concerns the act of ceremony. Opening a bottle of wine I just use as an example.

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    1. Hi Adam, looks like your comment got caught in the spam trap- apologies for that, I only noticed today.

      The book was, indeed, very good, as I mentioned more recently. I look forward to reading your future work.

      Insofar as wine goes, I'm with you about the ceremony involved in drinking a good wine in public. In private, of course, drink whatever you want- I'm very partial to good Aussie Shiraz myself, and most Aussie wines have screw-caps or, at best, plastic corks.

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  3. Thanks for the heads up. I'll check it out of the next few weeks.

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