Never send a woman to do a man's job

It truly does warm the frozen core of my evil Minion heart to witness the BBC's utterly ham-fisted attempts to revive what used to be the greatest TV show ever made:
Fans' fears are growing over the relaunch of BBC flagship show Top Gear amid fresh claims that Corporation bosses are meddling in the development of the new series. 
Pre-production of the motoring show, which will be fronted by presenter Chris Evans, has been hit by a string of major setbacks and high-profile resignations months before its scheduled debut. 
It comes as former Top Gear hosts Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May prepare to launch their rival motoring show on Amazon Prime, the retailer's video on-demand service. 
Among the difficulties plaguing the motoring show are:
  • Claims BBC2 controller Kim Shillinglaw is 'meddling' in the programme's development
  • The departure of key backroom staff, including executive producer Lisa Clark
  • The introduction of a new production team who 'don't know anything about cars'
  • A luke-warm reaction to the new presenters, with fears they are not well-enough known
  • Host Chris Evans reportedly crashing a luxury Jaguar his first time around the track
Corporation bosses had their reservations about Evans from the outset, with BBC2 controller Kim Shillinglaw saying in August she was 'terrified' at the thought of the presenter taking the lead. [Didact: Translation from SJWeaselese: "He might make the show FUN and MASCULINE! We cannae have that!"]
The BBC chief, who is known for her direct approach, said she was 'so excited about the new series' but admitted 'you don't quite know what is going to happen next'.
Evans will be joined by former F1 driver David Coulthard, German racing driver Sabine Schmitz and motoring journalist Chris Harris when the programme launches next May. 
But questions have been raised over whether Schmitz and Harris are well-enough known to add to the show's appeal. Other changes for the series include the track being 'super-sized'.
The new track might prove to be too much for Evans, who is said to have crashed a luxury Jaguar when he took his first spin around the course at Dunsfold Aerodrome in Surrey. [Didact: No half-witted comments about how he's a terrible driver, please; driving a fast car around a track at high speed is not easy.]
Evans, who also presents the breakfast show on BBC Radio 2, is also struggling with the amount of control he is being given over the show, sources claim.
An insider claimed to the Sun that Ms Shillinglaw has been reluctant to give Evans and his team the same free reign enjoyed by Clarkson, who failed to have his BBC contract renewed following a high-profile fracas with a show producer.
The source claimed the BBC chief had a 'reputation as a meddler', adding 'the show has had to become a lot more PC following the Clarkson row. [Didact: That's what you get when you put a busybody SJW in charge of a cultural icon.]
'There is less leeway to do out-there stuff and Kim has become a bit of a nightmare.' 
There has also been trouble for the programme's overworked host, with Evans announcing earlier this month that he was stepping down from TFI Friday in order to throw his efforts into Top Gear. 
A source confirmed there were 'no plans' for the Channel 4 show to return for another season. 
Evans has been pre-recording segments and admitted in a recent magazine column that he had worked for 26 hours in a row covering his BBC Radio 2 show, TFI Friday and Top Gear. 
Meanwhile, the show has also been hit by the departure of two key backroom staff. 
Executive producer Lisa Clark, who Evans personally brought in to lead its revamp, announced last week she is quitting the show after just five months. 
She was hired following the departure of Andy Wilman, who left the BBC following close friend Clarkson's departure and will join the old Top Gear line-up on their new Amazon motoring show. [Didact: So basically everyone who made the old show in the old format so brilliant, is gone. And the numpties who replaced them have no clue. BIG surprise...]
Script editor Tom Ford has also resigned from his role. 
Departing Ms Clark, who previously worked alongside Evans as a producer on The Big Breakfast, said in a statement she was moving to new projects. 
Losing the knowledgeable production team behind the show has also caused teething troubles.
A source told the Sunday Times earlier this month: 'They've brought in a production team that doesn't know anything about cars.
I do so love the delicious taste of schadenfreude.

I am not the least bit surprised at the fact that the rebooted, more "politically correct", "friendlier", and therefore completely rubbish version of Top Gear is floundering badly. The key lesson to learn here is that one should NEVER send a woman in to do a man's job.

The reason why Top Gear was so wildly successful was because it was brilliant, anarchic, ridiculous, over-the-top, and mad as a honey badger with a firecracker up its arse. It was all of those things because the madcap geniuses behind it, Jeremy Clarkson and Andy Wilman, were able to let their imaginations run wild while sticking to a tried and true formula that combined male camaraderie, off-colour jokes, huge explosions, and fast cars in a dazzlingly inventive petrol-burning escape from the dreariness and sterility of the modern world.

All of that is now lost, because the very men who made one of the manliest and therefore funniest shows of all time are now gone. In their place, we have a female producer who couldn't give a toss about cars and who, I suspect, probably went to a school that is to the left of Lenin. And of course, that same bint is now in charge of a show that, by definition, was made by men, for men.

Unsurprisingly, she isn't dong very well.

And it's not like she doesn't have great talent to work with. Chris Evans may not be much to look at, but he is actually a true petrolhead. He loves cars; apparently he managed to convince Billie Piper to go out with him by turning up in a Ferrari F360 filled with red roses.

(This doesn't actually sound all that impressive- until you remember that, back at the beginning of the millennium, this is what Billie Piper looked like.)

You should hear Mr. Evans talk about his collection of Ferraris someday; back before Top Gear was so ignominiously killed off, the show actually did a few interviews with him in the "Star in a Reasonably Priced Car" segments, and James May actually got a chance to drive one of his most beloved classic Fezzas.

I have particularly fond memories of that one episode where the boys were trying to come up with a compelling case for making Lancia the greatest car manufacturer of all time (!!!!!); Mr. Evans indignantly pointed out how ridiculous it was to give that title to Lancia when Ferrari had, and has, produced so many brilliant cars in its lifetime. Jezza responded by turning to the audience and saying, "People write in all the time to complain that Top Gear isn't really about cars anymore- well, IT IS NOW!!!".

And then you have David Coulthard, who was, at one time, a serious contender for the world F-1 championship, against no less a driver than the legendary Michael Schumacher himself. The man knows how to drive- even if he is from Scotland and therefore doesn't quite speak English.

On top of that, the new format of the show has Sabine Schmitz as one of its hosts. Now, there are not very many women in the world that I think are truly without male peers. Mrs. Schmitz is one of them. She is the most experienced and knowledgeable driver that the infamous Nurburgring has ever seen. She has driven around it more than anyone else on Earth, as far as I know. She is a supremely talented driver; she used to be one of the hosts of Germany's version of Top Gear (which is a rather more emasculated version of the original- one of the hosts apparently doesn't even own a car). She is sort of pretty, up to a point; she is actually very funny (for a German, I mean); and she is a demon behind the wheel.

With a collection of talent like that, you'd have to be monumentally incompetent to screw up the new version of Top Gear.

Or, y'know, you'd have to be an SJW. Which evidently this new producer is. As are most if not all of her superiors at the British Bullsh*t Corporation.

Those of us who loved the old Top Gear can at least console ourselves about the fact that the original crazy geniuses who turned the Beeb's stuffy boring old show about cars into a pop-culture phenomenon are soon going to have their own show coming out on Amazon Prime. Those who continue to watch the "rebooted" version of that show are free to be disappointed, of course, but I know where I'll be taking my time and money- away from these idiot SJWs who ruined yet another thing that I love, and back to the men who created it.


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