There goes the Justice League

First it was STAR WARS VII. As a gigantic Star Wars nerd since the age of like 13, I have to say that I am not at all looking forward to the new movie. I think it's going to be a colossal disappointment relative to what people want- it'll be essentially just a mix of the best ingredients from the previous 6 movies (at least two of which were abominable) stuck in a food processor with a big steaming turd-pile of social justice nonsense.

And now we have the new Batman vs Superman film. Oh, dear Barbara...

Okay, WHO THE HELL thought that Jesse Eisenberg would be a good choice for the role of arch-villain Lex Luthor?!? How much weapons-grade crack was that person smoking?! Somebody at Warner Bros. clearly was not thinking straight when he let Zack Snyder go crazy with the casting choices.

Don't get me wrong, I'm actually a fan of Zack Snyder's work... some of it, anyway. I loved the film 300, which to me is still one of the best and most badass masculine movies ever made. I thought Watchmen was a flawed but passable attempt at taking perhaps the most complex and layered graphic novel ever written, and putting it on the big screen, even if the ending was just pants.

But this new Justice League film really leaves me cold.

I've been a Batman fan even longer than I've loved Star Wars. I grew up watching the old Adam West TV series from the 1960s. (Yes, I am well aware that the old show has about as much to do with the original conception of Batman as a banana has to do with a shotgun. The campy, silly, over-the-top nonsense in that show was... well, ridiculous, but it was also good fun to watch, up to a point.) In my teen years I watched the old Paul Dini animated series, which to my mind was and remains the most amazing depiction of the Dark Knight outside of the comic books. I view The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One as genre-defining landmarks of brilliant writing.

And I don't care what anyone else thinks- the greatest actor ever to play Batman is, and will always be, Kevin Conroy. Christian Bale has certainly done the best live-action version of the hero, and his "throat-cancer" take on Batman's voice is not bad, but it's still nowhere close to the sheer brilliance of Conroy's voice acting.

The Batfleck version of the hero, though, strikes me as being at best a weak imitation of the greatest hero in comic book history.

I mean, look at his Batsuit. It looks terrible. It looks like something Bruce Wayne's grandmother cobbled together out of inflatable rubber tubing.

This is what a truly BADASS Batsuit looks like:

Compared to that, Batfleck's suit looks like... well, a hobo Batman version. I mean, Bruce Wayne is worth billions of dollars and has the entire resources of WayneTech Enterprises at his disposal, and the best he could do is this?

And then there's the latest take on Superman. Now, I always found Superman to be a mildly ridiculous superhero- the power of a god, the mindset of a Boy Scout. But it was actually possible to make him a good and believable character, which is what DC Comics did in the DC Animated Universe TV shows. Especially good were Justice League and Justice League Unlimited, where George Newbern's take on the character actually did justice (pun intended) to Kal-El.

The new Man of Steel take on Supes, though, appears to be dark, broody, and angst-driven. In other words, pretty much indistinguishable from Batman, except that he's about a billion times stronger and can fly. Oh, and he can shoot lasers out of his eyes.

So what, exactly, is the point of this new Justice League film, other than to get our hopes up for yet another overhyped DC Comics film that we pray will not be as terrible as some of the others they have made?


  1. You can blame the appearance of the Batleck suit on retarded comic-book fanboys who hate the idea of the character of "The Dark Knight" wearing armour.

  2. "Now, I always found Superman to be a mildly ridiculous superhero- the power of a god, the mindset of a Boy Scout."

    What I have never understood is this: the Superman movies set up as part of the story-line that Jor El provides Kal El with the knowledge of five galactic civilizations as he travels to earth; then, Kal El is given greater knowledge when he reaches maturity; this implies that Kal El ;not only has great knowledge, but that his IQ is off the charts; in addition, his Fortress of Solitude is a gold mine of vast knowledge. Despite this, he is portrayed as mentally outclassed by Lex Luthor and Batman.

    1. Funny you mention Superman's IQ- I've seen him portrayed as anything from borderline retarded by Frank Miller, to a brilliant though still inferior intellect (relative to Batman, anyway) by Grant Morrison. The extremely high IQ version of Superman is pretty rare; I've only seen him portrayed that way in Superman: Red Son.

  3. Eduardo the Magnificent5 December 2015 at 18:13

    When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things - 1 Corinthians 13:11


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