Seriously, just KILL THEM OFF already

A panda gets stuck in a tree and the world goes all gooey at how adorably stupid the damn thing is:
Sometimes, the struggle is most definitely real. 
In this instance, embodied by a poor, uncoordinated and adorable giant panda, battling both nature and gravity. 
The panda was filmed as it climbed a small tree at a zoo in an unknown location in China, and taking an unfortunate tumble. 
After a few seconds of waving its paws and wiggling it's behind, the panda breaks free but falls to the ground with a thud.
Sadly, the dumb bastard missed the rock right underneath the tree:


As you can see, it then proceeded to just... sort of lie there with a goofy dumb expression on its gormless face, as if it kind of sort of understands how retarded it really is, but just can't be arsed to do anything about it.

As usual, women and children everyone are going to talk about how adorable these useless furry sacks of crap really are. But to me, these things represent everything that is wrong with the modern conservation movement.

Look, these things are GIANT FREAKIN' BEARS. You know what a real bear looks like?

"My fellow bears, I promise you that your right to hunt and eat dumbass humans who wander into our territory will NEVER be infringed!"
That is a bear. It cannot hear you over the sound of its own sheer badassitude.

Meanwhile, his retarded cousin Mr. Cuddles up there is too stupid even to figure out how to be a proper carnivore.

Pandas are fat, slow, stupid, inbred, useless wastes of time and money. Yeah, they're damned nice to look at. So are badgers- and I'm not talking about the walking germ factories that infest the English countryside. (Or at least, not the kind that walks on four legs. The other kind, I don't mind in the least.) But badgers at least serve a (very important) purpose. Pandas serve no purpose whatsoever.

Plus, they have clearly given up on themselves as a species. They won't procreate in captivity even when their keepers get dressed up in humiliating and utterly inappropriate panda suits and... um... er... I'm trying desperately to keep this PG-rated, so... provide appropriate encouragement?

I say we shoot the damn things, turn them into panda steaks, and turn the money we saved on these useless sacks of fur and crap toward more important things. Like keeping and arming bears.


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