That's what goats are for, buddy
|Unsurprisingly, the Koran really doesn't have an equivalent to the Tenth Commandment|
Omar Hussain, 27, also know as Abu Saeed al Britani, is a former security guard at Morrisons supermarket who lived with his mother in High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, before joining ISIS. The terrorist complains that he is particularly concerned about people stealing his shoes and unplugging his phone when it is charging.
“Arabs as a whole have a unique culture, which differs dramatically from the western lifestyle,” he wrote. Adding: “If one is unaware of these cultural differences then it could be quite peculiar, annoying and, at times, somewhat stressful to interact and associate with them.”
He proceeds to “list a few of their habits which Arabs are known for.” His subheadings include: “A lack of privacy for other’s space,” “Childish behavior,” “Stealing shoes,” “Etiquettes when eating,” “Getting angry” “Sleeping habits,” “The staring competition,” “Treating animals badly,” “Beggars,” “Driving ‘skills’,” and “Empty words.”
On Arab behavior generally, he says: “Unfortunately Syrians seem to be very childish in their dealings and mannerisms in how they interact with each other. It’s not an unusual sight to see a fully grown Syrian man acting like a child and playing around with other brothers… Sometimes it may get quite hard to hold a civilised conversation with a Syrian man.”
He warns later: “Another common trait among our Arab brothers is to get offended if you bring their errors to their attention,” and that, “when Arabs get angry their ability to judge justly tends to falter, and they get upset quickly when you tell them the bitter truth.”
Under the subheading “Administration work,” he states that, “As Westerners we are naturally good at administration work as our whole life is based on an organised structure.” However, “There are many flaws and errors in putting an Arab in charge.” He even confesses “how even the Kuffār [non-muslim] work harder and quicker at administration work.”
Continuing: “Another ‘great’ feature of Arabs in administration is that there is no queue in any of their offices. You could be waiting in line for half an hour and then another Arab would come and push in the queue and go straight in.”
The “Majority of the Arabs in administration are not only lazy workers but also unaware of their job role,” he states. “The solution is twofold. Number one; to pray to Allāh that He (sic) replaces the Arabs with others who know what they are doing. Number two; and a more practical solution, is to shout at them while asking for what you need” he instructs his readers.
And don't even get me started on Cairo traffic.
Earlier in the year he complained about having to peel potatoes without a proper peeler, struggling to wash his clothes and of how he hadn’t been able to find himself a jihadi bride.
Mr. Hussain, I present to you the ISIS alternative to a war bride:
|Somewhere in the American South, Carey is laughing so hard he'll rupture something|