The consequences of homogamy

If you don't like gay marriage...
Well... he DOES have a point...
I certainly don't mind admitting that I enjoy seeing stupid ideas destroyed when they run head-first into the unyielding wall of reality, formed as it is from the bricks of logic and the mortar of evidence. It is worth noting, however, that sometimes the resulting car-wrecks are really rather ugly.

Such unmitigated disasters are especially difficult to look at when they involve children:
Gay community, I am your daughter. My mom raised me with her same-sex partner back in the ’80s and ’90s. She and my dad were married for a little while. She knew she was gay before they got married, but things were different back then. That’s how I got here. It was complicated as you can imagine. She left him when I was two or three because she wanted a chance to be happy with someone she really loved: a woman. 
My dad wasn’t a great guy, and after she left him he didn’t bother coming around anymore. 
Do you remember that book, “Heather Has Two Mommies”? That was my life. My mom, her partner, and I lived in a cozy little house in the ‘burbs of a very liberal and open-minded area. Her partner treated me as if I was her own daughter. Along with my mom’s partner, I also inherited her tight-knit community of gay and lesbian friends. Or maybe they inherited me? 
Either way, I still feel like gay people are my people. I’ve learned so much from you. You taught me how to be brave, especially when it is hard. You taught me empathy. You taught me how to listen. And how to dance. You taught me not be afraid of things that are different. And you taught me how to stand up for myself, even if that means I stand alone. 
I’m writing to you because I’m letting myself out of the closet: I don’t support gay marriage. But it might not be for the reasons that you think. 
It’s not because you’re gay. I love you, so much. It’s because of the nature of the same-sex relationship itself. 
Growing up, and even into my 20s, I supported and advocated for gay marriage. It’s only with some time and distance from my childhood that I’m able to reflect on my experiences and recognize the long-term consequences that same-sex parenting had on me. And it’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting. 
Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost. 
I grew up surrounded by women who said they didn’t need or want a man. Yet, as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy. It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says that men are unnecessary. There were times I felt so angry with my dad for not being there for me, and then times I felt angry with myself for even wanting a father to begin with. There are parts of me that still grieve over that loss today. 
I’m not saying that you can’t be good parents. You can. I had one of the best. I’m also not saying that being raised by straight parents means everything will turn out okay. We know there are so many different ways that the family unit can break down and cause kids to suffer: divorce, abandonment, infidelity, abuse, death, etc. But by and large, the best and most successful family structure is one in which kids are being raised by both their mother and father.
Ms. Barwick writes at considerable length about her experiences growing up as a child of two homosexual mothers- a concept that I find bizarre in the extreme. Looking at her experiences dispassionately as an intellectual exercise, her article is worthwhile if only to make a child of a happy, long-term heterosexual union understand what children of gay parents go through.

More importantly, Ms. Barwick's words are an important reminder of the realities of biology and human development. The fact is that a strong, grounded father is every bit as necessary in a child's life and development as a loving and nurturing mother. And no matter how hard she tries, a woman will NEVER be able to fulfill the role that a father must.

It is simply not possible for women to assume masculine identities without suffering a near-complete breakdown of their sense of self and identity. There is an outstanding documentary on this very subject from about 10 years back in which a rather butch-looking lesbian effectively became a man for a few months in order to try to understand what men are really like:


She found the experience so difficult and so jarring that she very nearly lost control of her sanity towards the end. She finally understood exactly what it is that drives men, and found herself incapable of handling the pressure that, for men, is routine and normal.

It is equally ridiculous, by the way, to think that men can automatically assume the roles taken by women. We don't have the temperament or psyche for it. I don't care how much of a fairy a gay man might be- he will never be a substitute for a woman and a mother. He isn't wired for it chemically, genetically, or neurologically, and it is downright insane to think that the sexes are somehow interchangeable when we have literally millennia worth of evidence telling us otherwise.

It is usually at this point that someone would attempt to counteract Ms. Barwick's arguments, based entirely on anecdotal evidence, by attempting to drown out such horrendous badthink by shouting about how THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED!!! about gay parents having no more negative effects on the cognitive and social development of children than straight ones. They resort to this line of argument because, well, it's the only one that they have. (Well, that, and the movie The Kids Are Alright, which I have not watched and almost certainly never will.)

They do this because it is the only way in which they can ensure that their FEELZ will remain unhurt by such chaotic badthink- how dare we cretinous knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing homophobic right-wing nutjobs question the idea that gay parents are just as good as straight ones?!!

Except... it turns out that the science is not settled. (Sounds familiar, doesn't it?)

Homosexual couples, depending on the specific type involved (male-male or female-female), essentially act like extreme examples of the phenotypes upon which they are based. In simple terms, this means that male homosexuals generally act like extremely oversexed men, and female homosexuals act like extremely undersexed women. (I'm generalising significantly, obviously.) This observation has been borne out in several studies and was documented extensively in Robin Baker's groundbreaking classic Sperm Wars.

Neither extreme is healthy for young children. A household in which sexual promiscuity is normal is unlikely to result in normal children. A household in which there is no strong father figure present is unlikely to generate masculine sons or feminine daughters- as we have seen, repeatedly, in normal households the world over. A household with lesbian parents in which it is highly likely that one of the two partners involved is abusive toward the other, whether physically, mentally, emotionally, or all three, is NOT going to be a healthy environment for a child.

Yet these things are normal in the abnormal and deviant world of same-sex unions.

And that is the reality that advocates of same-sex "marriage" simply refuse to face. They try to turn gay "marriage" into an issue of equality- oblivious to the plainly undeniable fact that, other than equality before the Lord, that fanciful notion has never existed in any meaningful form that is consistent with human freedom. But they always seem to paper over the catastrophic social and developmental consequences of their follies.

It is easy to blather on about the virtues of gay "marriage" when you don't have to think about the consequences. But when you realise that the consequences involve potentially destroying the lives of young children, it is rather a lot more difficult to simply ignore the train-wreck that is the logical end-result of your ideas.

Comments

Popular Posts