The Force Awakens... the Didact yawns

I thought this trailer was a joke when I watched the first 30 seconds:


A black stormtrooper? Did J. J. Abrams read nothing of the original STAR WARS canon, which stated openly that the Emperor and the Empire were TEH MOST RACISSEST ARMIEZ EVAR!!! (Sorry... doing the full retard thing again...)

And then he acts like a very surprised younger version of Tracy Morgan, and we're expected to take that seriously?

And then there's that robot bowling ball bouncing through what I imagine is the outskirts of Mos Eisley on Tatooine. How, in the name of all that is holy, am I expected to take this trailer at face value after seeing that?

Fortunately, it gets a little better afterwards. X-wings! The Millennium Falcon!!! The... Sith with the ridiculous lightsaber that shoots blades out of the pommel???

Oh well, I suppose two out of three ain't so bad. Of course, if you actually tried to use an energy sword like that in a real battle, you'd get turned into shish-kabob by anyone who knows what he's doing...

Turns out, by the way, that the international trailer is vastly better and more interesting:


So this is what I really hate about STAR WARS canon: "Return of the Jedi" (my personal favourite movie in the series) ended with Anakin Skywalker destroying the Emperor and returning the Force back into balance, then thirty years of novels and comic books and video games carried on with various Sith baddies causing various galaxy-threatening problems for various protagonists, then the prequels came in and effectively trashed most of that canon, then the authors of the various STAR WARS novels spent another ten years frantically trying to retcon all the storylines to match, and now we've got three more movies coming up which will crap all over that.

Can't we just all leave the original movies the hell ALONE, and recognise them for the magnificent achievements that they were? I really don't want to see another butchered attempt at revising the lore and legacy of STAR WARS by J. J. Abrams, not after what he did in "re-booting" STAR TREK...

Comments

  1. Return . . . really.

    Ewoks . . .

    Imagine if that had been a battle on the home planet of the wookies.

    That one change would have made Jedi a better movie. Jedi was the first sign of the cracks in Lucas ability to make a decent movie. Its been down hill since

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    1. I'll grant you that the Ewoks were idiotic. I can't watch that movie these days without wondering just how the HELL the galaxy's most feared and efficient mechanised fighting force was brought low by a bunch of f***ing teddy bears with bows and arrows and rocks...

      It's my favourite movie because of the final third involving the Battle of Endor in space and the equally impressive battle in the Death Star's observation tower. The rest of the plot ranges from mildly to ridiculously stupid.

      But even I'm not going to claim that it's as good, in terms of plot and acting and general drama, as "The Empire Strikes Back".

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  2. I don't think that the black dude is actually a Stormtrooper. I think he is a Jedi who was undercover and is trying to get away from the Empire after his cover is blown. That's why he goes to Tatooine, which is far from the center of the galaxy.

    And all the Ewok stuff was supposed to be Wookie stuff in Reveng...uhm, Return of the Jedi, but Lucas changed his mind because he wanted to make a kid's movie. Add to that the fact that Darth Vader was NOT Luke's father until Lawrence Kasadan put it in the Empire script, and the possibilities for a truly great saga dissipated in a cloud of licensing agreements...

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