Anti-game: Gay wood elf edition

Orlando Bloom adds his name to the inglorious list of celebrities that desperately need to start reading through Roissy's archives:
She's in hot demand - and not just as an actress it seems. 
Margot Robbie appears to have found herself a new suitor - Orlando Bloom.

After rumours the pair were seen sharing a kiss at The Golden Globes after party back in January, The Hobbit actor has apparently renewed his efforts in recent weeks to get the actress to go on a date.

According to Womans Day the 37-year-old, has been showering Margot with gifts, including sending a bouquet of flowers and a cuddly bear, as well as other presents. [Didact: A cuddly bear. Seriously. Ye cats. This man is in more need of help than I thought.]

'He's turning on the charm and practically begging her to hook up with him.' [Didact: Thirstier than a fisherman in a desert, he is.]

However their may be one thing which is standing in the way of the pair getting together - Margot's current boyfriend Tom Ackerley.

The pair met of the set of the film Suite Francais in June where he was working as an assistant film director, and she is said to be smitten with her beau.

Margot, 24, is said to be very flattered by Orlando's advances, but wants to see how things are going with Tom.

She has apparently liked the actor, who is best known for his role as Legolas, since she was a school. [Didact: Funny- most of the girls I went to high school with actually liked Elijah Wood more. I could never fathom that either. Both of them gave off a distinctly gay vibe on-screen- with Legolas, though, you got the impression that he simply didn't know how what girls are for.]

But because she is in a relationship she has decided against taking Orlando up on his offer of a date.

Margot was introduced to the actor by her The Wolf of Wall Street co-star Leonardo DiCaprio - the two men are good friends.
Can I just point out that, given Leo DiCaprio's reputation as an ace womaniser, it's quite probable that he has already, shall we say, checked out Ms. Robbie's credentials. I have serious doubts that a man who is as well known for dating models as he is for his (undeniably tremendous) acting chops would pass on any woman that looks like Margot Robbie.

To be fair to Orlando Bland, it's not difficult to see where the attraction comes from. This is what Margot Robbie looks like, on a very good day:

Judging by that, it's not difficult to... uh... what was I talking about again?

Oh, right. Sorry, lost focus for a moment there. Not enough blood to the brain.

Anyway, silly humour aside, it's interesting to see how the bare truths of the world work even in the rarefied atmospheres in which celebrities move.

Orlando Bloom has managed to pull some very impressive women in his life- one Ms. Miranda Kerr comes to mind, along with a few other extraordinarily beautiful reasons to be thankful for sexual dimorphism. The problem is, if his documented public behaviour is any record, he has absolutely no clue what a terrible idea it is to put women on a pedestal.

This little nausea-inducing episode is interesting for two reasons.

First, it underscores what Roissy/Heartiste/whatshisname has been saying for years now: celebrity status confers automatic game, but that status does not compensate for a man's lack of confidence, character, or masculinity. It only serves to mask these deficiencies. In Orlando Bloom's case, his lack of these qualities is actively harming his game- he's basically trying to get into a girl's pants by treating her as the sole centre of his attention. This is a huge mistake- a man is almost certain to repulse a woman with his smothering, supplicating attentions this way, rather than forcing her to come to him through remaining aloof and adopting a mindset of plenty. After all, the man's a celebrity- he could have hot young girls lining up ten-deep to give him hand-jobs just by requesting them on Facebook.

Second, the lesson for the average man is simple: don't be thirsty. Never make one woman the centre of your universe to the point where you have nothing better to do than "shower her with gifts". Aside from the fact that buying women (to whom you are unrelated or unmarried) gifts for no good reason just tends to make them suspicious, there is no good reason to spend large amounts of money and time on a woman in the hope that she will put out. Better by far to minimise your investments in any one woman, until and unless you find one (or two, or three, or ten) who is actually worth your attention because she repays it with more than mere sex.

This, by the way, is extremely rare, and it won't happen unless you are already very comfortable in your own skin and are willing to act swiftly to deal with bad behaviour and drama.

Thirst and neediness of this kind are off-putting precisely because they take all that is admirable and good about masculinity- namely, strength, stolidity, valour, and ambition- and subsume them by turning a man into a supplicant.

Men were not made to supplicate to women. Not then, not now, not ever. By supplicating to a woman, Orlando Bloom makes himself less a man and less admirable by the moment. (I did mention that he's most famous for playing a borderline gay wood elf, right?) This is not a man to emulate, it is a man to pity. And no man should ever voluntarily put himself in a position to be pitied.


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