"Ten simple rules for dating my (eventually) teenage daughter"

One Marcus Luttrell- you might know him better as the man who wrote a certain book called Lone Survivor, which was later turned into a film starring Hollywood's closest thing to a genuine badass, Mark Wahlberg- recently posted a list of things that his two-year-old daughter's future boyfriends will have to do in order to be worthy of his little girl. It makes for some great reading, that's for sure:


Every father who has ever had a daughter can relate to this. Hell, most brothers with kid sisters can relate.

Daughters, and much younger sisters, are infinitely precious to fathers and older brothers. We love them because they are innocent and wonderful, because they give us the opportunity to be the strong masculine guardians and role models that our own innate natures demand we be.

And every father who truly loves his little girl can tell you that there is nothing he dreads more than the prospect of some young man coming along and robbing his darling daughter of her innocence. It's an eventuality that we all prepare for, we all hate to think about, but we inevitably have to face it.

Some of us handle it a bit better than others. Whenever my sister told me that she couldn't talk at our usual kaffeeklatsch time on weekends when she was in college, I would immediately ask if she was going out on a date. On the very few occasions where she actually was, my reply was pretty simple: "OK, have fun, but not too much- and remember that I'll be right here cleaning out my shotgun, just in case."

For some odd reason, she did not find this funny. I really don't get why- in my opinion, there is nothing more enjoyable for a real older brother than beating the ever-lovin' snot out of some jerkwad that disrespects his kid sister.

I remember with particular amusement and pleasure the one time she related to me the fact that she'd met what sounded like the most weedy Gamma male possible for a dinner date. She got rather annoyed when I did my usual protective-older-brother thing and said point-blank that she really didn't want me trying to enforce my "he breaks your heart, I break his legs" rule, since this chap was apparently quite a lot smaller than me.

Ultimately, a father's job is to provide the safety, security, and unquestionable authority that makes good daughters grow up to become good women. It sounds like Marcus Luttrell, despite the odd spelling mistake here and there, is off to a rather good start.


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