Lesbians are fat and ugly?!? Say it ain't so!

Clearly, I need to keep up with current events a bit better. Vox got around to mocking this one a damn sight faster than I did. Though, admittedly, the results of a recent government investigation- which cost, ISYN, $3 million to conduct- are pretty amusing in and of themselves:
The study being carried out by the National Institutes of Health, now in its fourth year, has another two to run.

It comes after official data released earlier this year showed 69 per cent of American adults over 20 are classified as overweight or obese.

According to the Department of Health and Human Services, nearly three quarters of America’s lesbian population falls into one or other of these categories – compared with half of the heterosexual female population.

On the other hand heterosexual men are nearly twice as likely to be overweight than their homosexual counterparts.

In the US, there are five million lesbian and bisexual women, according to one estimate. [Didact: Let's do a little MAFF. Five million out of a population of 322 million, of which, say, 48% are women, results in... knit one, purl two... 3.235% of all women who are gay.]

One of the linked studies found that lesbians were less likely to participate in team sports than heterosexuals because of lower athletic self-esteem. [Didact: So the butch lacrosse player stereotype is false too. Actually, I didn't see that one coming.]

Researchers also found obese lesbian women were likely to consider themselves as being of a healthy weight but gay men tended to think of themselves as being overweight when they were not.

The research has been carried out by a team led by Bryn Austin, an epidemiologist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston and associate professor at Harvard’s school of public health.

“There are differences in cultural pressures to be thin between gay men and lesbian women,” she told the Telegraph.

She said the study would also examine whether obesity could be linked to differences in physiological response to stress between men and women.

While critics regard the research as government waste, Prof Austin, insisted it was necessary.
So basically:
Male fantasy
... Announces Emergency Dyke Reinforcement for failed New Orleans Levees
Lesbian reality
(Sorry about that last picture, folks. I'll be passing out free barf bags in a moment.)

Before we proceed, I must point out that the metric used for classifying people by weight, the BMI, has some serious methodological issues, so this 69% figure is not particularly accurate. For instance, according to any online BMI calculator, I have a BMI of anywhere between 26 and 28, which classifies me as overweight.

Anyone who's ever met me in person, or seen a picture of me these days, knows damn well that most of my weight is pure muscle- you can't do what I do in the gym or on the training mat if you're mostly flab.

And most people who have tried sparring with me have generally discovered, to their rather rude shock, that I'm a lot faster than I look.

Like I said, the BMI has a lot of issues.

That being said, anyone who has spent any significant time in the USA knows quite well that this country is full of heffalumps.

Anyway, at this point I'm having a hard time deciding whether to be:
a) Irritated at the fact that the US government- which, need I remind you, is functionally bankrupt- spent $3M of your money and mine researching the weight issues of lesbians; or 
b) Amused at the way the study confirmed a number of empirical truths.
For instance- take that little nugget about how fat homosexual women are less likely to think of themselves as obese than skinny homosexual men. This is interesting because it ties into a rather startling observation in Robin Baker's Sperm Wars: when it comes to sexual strategies, gay men basically act like hyper-sexed men, and gay women basically act like hypo-sexed women.

Yet, overall, gay men act like women- the gay-fairy stereotype exists for a reason- and gay women act like men, as anyone who has ever had to deal with the distasteful aftermath of a gay pride rally has found out.

It is therefore unsurprising that gay men think that, like, they look totally fat in those jeans, darling- while gay women would be more interested in the donuts and Twinkies Danishes muffins pastries.

Also, look what happens when we do a little number-crunching. If you're from my generation or younger (Lord but that's a depressing thought), then you've almost surely grown up with the whole "10% of the population is gay" factoid. This is used to justify all manner of utter nonsense by way of gay "rights". As the very basic number crunching that I did above confirms, the true figure is maybe 4% of all people. Given this, what possible justification can there be for upending thousands of years of tradition, morality, and Biblical law in order to satisfy the demands of less than 5% of the entire country's population?

Somewhat surprisingly, I'm not the only one who figured out what the numbers mean. The reactions of an ardent defender of gay "rights" are telling:
Reaction to a study like this is sadly predictable. The comments below the article are no more edifying than I would expect. Here is a typical example: “It’s pretty obvious, They are fat first, obviously can’t get any hetero action, so change to the other team where other fat women are less discerning.” That’s right ‘tyrannosaur’ (as you call yourself) women have no other interest in life other than attracting men and if we can’t do that we just give up and go for women instead.

Perhaps, more truthfully, lesbians are less likely to want to conform to the magazine stereotypes of straight women. [Didact: Wrong. Other than being fat and ugly, lesbian women on the whole tend to be far more like the stereotypical hausfrau than the average straight woman.] I would hazard a guess that these stereotypes are not necessarily attractive to men either. [Didact: Does this woman actually know any real men?] Does anyone really find a hugely underweight model with a miserable expression on her face alluring?

Lets be absolutely clear. Lesbians are not gay because they can’t get a man. All of the lesbians I know, and I know quite a few, have had to fight off the attentions of men frequently. Studies like this only serve to give ammunition to this type of prejudice.
Witness female solipsism at its finest. The author of this Telly opinion piece goes on to attack the sampling bias and methodology of the study, yet remains blissfully ignorant of her own biases in response.

I'm guessing- and it's only a guess- that most of the lesbians she knows are reasonably slim and attractive, hence her innate biases come to the fore. However, the study- which could very well be badly done, since it's government work- is not interested in who she personally knows. It is interested in aggregate data.

And the aggregate data tell us statistically what many of us have discovered empirically: that lesbians on average tend to be fat and ugly.
Strewth

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