"It's not MY fault that I posted nude photos of myself online!"

The utter absurdity of her statements aside, it is actually genuinely impressive to see a woman playing the gender, race, and criminal cards all at the same time, all in the same statement:
After the dust appeared to have settled from the storm created by the alleged hacking of celebrity iCloud accounts, a new wave of stolen nude celebrity photos have been published online - and actress Gabrielle Union confirmed the photos of her are genuine. 

Union said in a statement to TMZ alongside her husband Dwyane Wade 'it has come to our attention it has come to our attention that our private moments, that were shared and deleted solely between my husband and myself, have been leaked by some vultures.'
'I can’t help but to be reminded that since the dawn of time women and children, specifically women of color, [Didact: Lord, here we go...] have been victimized, and the power over their own bodies taken from them,' the statement also said. 'These atrocities against women and children continue worldwide.' 
In the wake of the stolen images, Union is reaching out to the FBI, TMZ reported.

'For anyone out there also being affected by these and other hacking and hate crimes - We send our love, support and prayers,' the statement also said. ' We have done nothing wrong.' [Didact: Other than posting naked pictures of yourself on a cloud service that can be hacked, that is...]

The other previously unseen images are alleged to feature reality TV star Kim Kardashian, American goalkeeper Hope Solo and actresses Kaley Cuoco and Vanessa Hudgens. 
They also reportedly include Nashville star Hayden Panettiere, singer Avril Lavigne and actress-turned-fashion designer Mary-Kate Olson. 
It comes just three weeks after naked photos of actress Jennifer Lawrence and '100 other stars', including supermodel Kate Upton and actress Aubrey Plaza, were published online. 
Although most of the latest victims were named on an original list of targeted celebrities, posted by a hacker to the anonymous image-sharing forum 4chan last month, Kim, also 33, was not.
In case you're wondering exactly who Gabrielle Union is, she was in a couple of movies that I actually like. Not because she was in them, but because they were genuinely fun to watch: "10 Things I Hate About You" and "Bad Boys II". (Insert mocking remarks about the Didact's extremely poor taste in movies in  the comments below.)

Evidently she now wants to be known for a complete lack of understanding about how legal documents- like, say the Terms & Conditions agreements that are part and parcel of Apple's iCloud service- work.

I went over this once before, when, much to my (immense) amusement, the world's media outlets positively exploded in righteous outrageously outrageous OUTRAGE at how big mean horrible boys were picking on these poor little girlies.

What the world's media quickly seemed to conveniently forget is that these are all fully grown adult women who are, or at least should be, held responsible for their own actions and decisions. (I realise that this is a highly implausible stretch of logic and imagination in the case of certain women like Jennifer Lawrence, or Kim Kardashian.)

Look, it's really simple. If you are a woman, and a reasonably attractive one at that, and you take naked or topless pictures of yourself and post them online, you are putting yourself and your reputation at risk. If you decide to do that, it's your problem. You're using a service that is by definition not completely secure.

There is no way short of using quantum cryptography to create an unbreakable, unhackable security protocol. If you create a password that is easy to guess and you insist on posting nude pictures of yourself online and sharing them with other users (whether they be husbands or boyfriends of FBs or whatever), well, that's on YOU.

Also, I find it rather difficult to believe that some of these women are all that broken up about what happened.

In that Daily Mail article, there is a video of Kim Kardashian doing something that I imagine she is very good at doing: taking her top off and flashing people. I'm not going to link to that video simply because the woman severely annoys me. These are not the actions of a woman who is ashamed at the fact that the results of her private life are being plastered all over the world. (Actually, given that she's the "star" of a "reality" show, I'm not sure she even has any understanding of the term "private life".)

This is not, and should not be interpreted as, an attempt to excuse the conduct of those who actually hacked these celebrity accounts and stole private property, by the way. Those who committed these acts were openly trespassing on private property, flagrantly disrespected personal privacy rights, and abused freedoms of information and speech for their own personal ends. If they committed criminal acts under the law, they absolutely should be prosecuted for them.

With that in mind, let's not feel too broken up for these celebrities. They did silly things, they got caught doing those things, and now they want the rest of us to feel sorry for them.

I say that we just get on with our lives instead, and let the lawyers sort this one out.


  1. "It's not my fault," best I can tell, is the singular meme of importance to the vast majority of homo sapien left to do whatever we want. Adam & Eve, right there at the beginning of the Bible the West now deems archaic and useless, start the ball rolling; the SERPENT tempted her and SHE led Adam astray. God knew this would be the result of free will, but I still sometimes imagine how his heart must have sank at actually hearing the excuses.

    I guess it's considered stone cold hateful of me by today's standards but I see the "victims" here as the actual problem. They're narcissistic tendencies seem boundless; all of them dropping trou' in front of devices connected to the whole world. Then, when that connection puts their already self absorbed nakedness on the web, by God, no one's supposed to look? Aren't these the same morons who'll spend three hours in a hair/makeup chair, getting cleavage makeup as well for the photoshoot for Maxim, Esquire, GQ, etc.?

    They've lost their collective minds.


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