"Idiocracy" was a documentary

That is the only possible conclusion that I think that a rational man can reach after seeing "news" stories like this one:
The businessman's [Didact: "businessman"? Isn't that a bit of a stretch?] less than pleased reaction to learning he will be a father once again had been truncated in previously released clips, but on Sunday night's episode his rant was captured in full. 
Scott, 35, had walked in on his long-time partner Kourtney packing for 'Poushka', a pet name for their two-year-old daughter Penelope when the she broke the news. 
'How many clothes does one little kid need?' he asked. 
'A lot,' she answered. 'Can you shut the door for a second? I just wanted to tell you that I am pregnant,' she said with a coy smile. 
Ominous music played, and Scott was so stunned he was lost for words.
'You just keep suckering me into these kids. I can't handle all of this responsibility,' said the seemingly unimpressed self styled 'Lord Disick.' [Didact: I can't be the only one who's noticed that this is just one vowel away from a more fitting nickname...]
He added: 'Were you gonna wait 'til the kid popped out of ya?'
Did no one explain to this guy how sex works? I mean, he's got two kids, apparently (and probably somewhat miraculously) with the same woman, so he should by rights know the basics by now...

OK, Scott, just for you, I'm going to break this down in terms you can understand.

When a man and a woman love... er, wait, doesn't apply in his case...

OK, when a man and a woman like... um, no, that doesn't work either...

Uh, how about this? When a man and a woman have certain feelings in their... no, that doesn't quite do it either.

Fine, I'll get to the point- and will borrow several pages from good old Badd Popp in the process. "When a man and a woman have a combined room-temperature IQ, and have no sense of self-responsibility or control whatsoever, the man ends up sticking his Peg D in whichever of her holes is most convenient and easily accessible at the time. This usually tends to be the Slot C. Because these people are having SWS*, this sometimes results in what most people would call 'a child', or 'a blessing from God', but in this specific case results in what should really be called a 'fornification tropy'. Net result: 18-25 years worth of baby jail."

Unfortunately, these people are breeding rapidly. And this trend of idiots having babies- either while out of wedlock, or by getting married and then divorcing- appears to be getting worse.

(It would be so easy to mock another one of these twits, but sadly I just can't bring myself to link to another story about another Kardashian in the same post. I couldn't do it and look at myself in the mirror tomorrow. Deadlifting 400+lbs? Easy. Having to talk about the Kardashians? Pure TORTURE.)

Look, all joking aside, we're talking about children here. By definition, children have done nothing to deserve this bleak future. Men and women get married, one of them eventually decides that she- and it is usually the woman- is unhaaaaapy, and the child is the one that gets stuck dealing with the misery of a broken home. Why does your society insist that this is a Good Thing and insist on enabling this folly?

If you're not ready for kids, don't have them. It's that simple. Contraception- for the pagans out there (like yours truly)- is cheap and easily available. For those who are not so inclined, well, abstinence sucks- but you know what sucks way more? Twenty years of baby jail.

The bottom line is that children are a heavy and difficult responsibility. If you're not ready for them, don't be a selfish dips**t and do at least try to be responsible.

For young women, that means: you settle down early, forswear the party lifestyle for good, and concentrate on being a good wife and mother. I promise you that it will be more rewarding and satisfying in the long run than any amount of wild partying, sex, drugs, and career ambition.

For young men, that means: you constantly work on being the best possible version of yourself that you can be. Don't settle down "just because" it's what you should do. Settle down because it's your choice, and because you are ready for it. If you are not, don't get married and don't have kids.

Otherwise, we could very easily end up dealing with this:

*Sex While Stupid. Props to Dr. Gregory House, M.D.


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