All the single ladies
Wanted: Naive, easily bamboozled men willing to put up with massive amounts of female nonsense for the privilege of maybe being able to nail a really hot piece of Brazilian ass once in a while. Must be happy to part with their balls for the privilege of doing so. Sheep-like ability to follow all rules made up by the Sisterhood, no matter how bat-s**t insane, an absolute must.
A remote Brazilian village of 600 people has appealed for newcomers to swell its ranks, with one proviso: they must be men. The women of Noiva do Cordeiro want husbands – though, intriguingly for a deeply religious society, not necessarily in the legal sense. [Didact: Sounds interesting. Tell me more.]
Men are scarce in the picturesque village in southeast Brazil, reports the Daily Telegraph. [Didact: Sounding better...] Many have left to find work in the cities, leaving the women behind. Others commute each week.
What's more, says the paper breathlessly, the women of Noiva de Cordeiro are "known throughout Brazil for their beauty". One resident, 23-year-old Nelma Fernandes, whose level of beauty is not recorded, explained: "Here, the only men we single girls meet are either married or related to us; everyone is a cousin." [Didact: Horny, desperate, single, and Brazilian. So far, so good.]
"I haven't kissed a man for a long time," she lamented. "We all dream of falling in love and getting married. But we like living here and don't want to have to leave the town to find a husband."
But there is more behind the gender imbalance than pure economic necessity. The town, whose name means Bride of the Lamb (ie Christ), was founded in 1891 by a woman, Maria Senhorinha de Lima, after she was branded an adultress and exiled from her home and church.
Senhorinha de Lima's granddaughter still lives in the valley and Noiva do Cordeiro is still run by women, who are not ready to give up that control.
Fernandes cautioned: "We'd like to get to know men who would leave their own lives and come to be a part of ours. But first they need to agree to do what we say and live according to our rules." [Didact: Aaaaaaand there's the catch.]
Another resident, 49-year-old Rosalee Fernandes, said: "We have God in our hearts. But we don't think we need to go to church, get married in front of a priest or baptise our children. These are rules made up by men." [Didact: Let me get this straight. You want to be faithful to God by... ignoring everything He told you about marriage, sex, and love. Uh huh. And you expect to be taken seriously because...?]
She added: "There are lots of things that women do better than men. Our town is prettier, more organised, and far more harmonious than if men were in charge. [Didact: I seriously doubt that.]
"When problems or disputes arise, we resolve them in a woman's way, trying to find consensus rather than conflict."Gentlemen, I present to you Chapter 1, Verse 1, Line 1 of The Feminist Bible. I must say, it makes for ugly reading.
I've seen this information pop up on the Telly and the Daily Mail for a couple of days now, and every time I've seen it, I've been greatly amused by the fact that the relevant news reporter goes to tremendous lengths to stress the supposed "beauty" of the women in question.
Take a gander at these here pictures and tell me if having to live under female "rules" and female "logic" is worth it:
|Warpig... Warpig... Nutbag...|
|And that's a grand total of... uh... I see maybe five decent-looking girls.|
In 1940, an evangelical pastor, Anisio Pereira, took one of the women, aged 16, to be his wife and founded a church in the growing community.
However, he proceeded to impose strict puritanical rules, banning them from drinking alcohol, listening to music, cutting their hair or using any type of contraceptive.
When Anisio died in 1995, the women decided never again to let a man dictate how they should live. And one of the first things they did was to dismantle the male-biased organised religion he had set up.
Living by a man's rules made us feel unhaaaaaaapy. So we got rid of the man's rules and we'll never live by them again- hey guys, why are you all leaving??? Fine! You're just a bunch of misogynistic JERKS anyway! We'll go find and f*** some new guys instead by appealing to the outside world for help to maintain our little feminist society! That'll show you how Strong and Independent we really are!