"Marriage is a young man's disaster and an old man's comfort"

Ace nodded wisely. "They'll do it every time. They'd rather marry civilians and have somebody around to chew out when they feel like it. Never you mind, son- you'll find plenty of them more than willing to marry when you're retired... and you'll be better able to handle one at that age."
-- From Starship Troopers, by Robert A. Heinlein 
George Clooney is probably the most famous example of what the PUA chaps call a "quality Alpha"- a man who pursues serial long-term relationships with very beautiful, very sexy women. He stays faithful to them while he's with them- but the moment they give him any drama, they're out the door on their shapely fannies.

There is, as Blackdragon once pointed out, really quite a lot to like about this lifestyle:
He got married once for just a few years way back in the early 90′s.  Just like all modern-day alpha males who attempt traditional marriage, he ended up divorced relatively quickly.  So far, very normal. 
He then shook his fist in the air and screamed to all his friends “I’ll never get married again!!!”   Yeah yeah, still very normal.  Countless men with a recent divorce declare that and end up married again anyway, and usually pretty quick. (cough-Howard-Stern-cough) 
But then he did a very strange thing… 
He actually followed through on his promise.  It’s been damn near 20 years.  He’s had plenty of NRE during that time.  He’s had raging oneitis many times I’m sure.  He’s been [in] looooooooove many times.  But he still has not taken the stupid path of marriage, and I promise you, based on my experience, most if not all of these women he’s dated have asked him to get married…repeatedly.  He even bet Michelle Pfeiffer $100,000 that he’ll never get married. 
He is truly one of the few men in the world who has decided what he wants for his life, the standards for his life, and not wavered because of some girl who comes along who is Not Like The Rest™ or because of an “oops pregnancy”.  It’s what I talk about often.  It’s so rare.  So wonderful.  I have an immense amount of respect for him, at least in that area of his life. 
Is he perfect?  No. 
The challenge I have with Curious George is if you looked up “serial monogamy” in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of him.  He’s monogamously dated piles and piles of women and he always follows the exact same pattern.  He dates them for two or three years, then dumps them in the summer right before he retreats to his estate in Italy so he can “be single for the summer”.  Then when he gets back, he immediately snags a new monogamous girlfriend, and repeats the pattern. 
[Didact: let's skip over a lot of other exposition here...] 
But let’s get back to Georgie.  Dude, he’s GEORGE CLOONEY.  At any time he could literally snap his fingers and have open relationships with any women he wants!  Even women who would “never do that” would DIE for the chance to be an FB, MLTR, or OLTR with George Clooney.  Why oh why does he cling to this monogamy stuff?  (I already know the answer…it’s because for some reason he craves the control and/or drama that monogamy brings.) 
Oh well.  Let’s hope he never has to pay Michelle that $100,000.
Well, it would appear that George Clooney is going to be out quite a lot more than 100K. I suspect he's going to be out several millions before this particular episode in his life comes to a close.

There are a few interesting questions and some useful lessons here.

First. why on Earth did George Clooney- who I must assume actually has a pretty sound head on his shoulders (his liberal politics notwithstanding)- propose to a lawyer? And not just any lawyer either- a lawyer who has worked on some of the most highly charged, high-profile court cases in the world as a defence attorney for individuals that the rest of us find to be... shall we say, of questionable character at best. This is, in my opinion, about the stupidest thing a man can do. It's like sticking your head straight into the mouth of an angry crocodile and hoping that it won't turn you into an appetizer.

Second, why would a man who can have any woman he wants settle for a woman who is not only several sex ranks below him, but several sex ranks below his last few exes?

Current. See the difference?
The answers, I suspect, have to do with a man's priorities as he ages. His foolish choice of marrying a career (and extremely ambitious) lawyer notwithstanding, I do sort of understand why he decided to tie the knot.

As a man gets older and wiser and more comfortable with who he is and what he is capable of, it becomes increasingly more difficult for any woman to rock his sense of security. It's not impossible, since if a man started out as a pussy and did nothing to change that fact, he will remain a pussy. Even so, generally speaking, a man's value grows over time and peaks somewhere in his late thirties to early forties- a fact that Rollo made clear in his (in)famous SMV graph.

I  felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if a thousand ugly feminists suddenly cried out in terror,
and were suddenly silenced by the truth.
If you're wealthy, successful, and genetically blessed (like ol' George), then that peak probably extends to your early fifties, which it would appear in his case, it has.

Eventually, though, even the most ardent and thirsty player gets tired of the chase. There is a lot to be said in favour of coming home to a happy, smiling woman and a quiet, comfortable, orderly haven where a man can simply escape from the pressures of the outside world. The soft comforts of wife and home are not to be underestimated. A man's priorities change over time, and with those changes come a certain perspective on women that a younger man lacks- along with a certain frame and composure that a younger man simply hasn't developed yet.

George Clooney's life holds a pretty good pattern for most young men out there today. Don't get married early or young unless you really, truly mean it- and unless you really understand what you're getting into. Too many young men today think that they're marrying The One, and she'll never change and will be the perfect partner for life, and they never wake up to the warning signs until they find themselves standing in front of a family court judge 7-10 years later about to have their entire lives destroyed.

Instead, focus your younger years on the pursuits that interest you the most. Travel, read good books, become strong and fit, develop a powerful and incisive mind, and eat well. Build a business and secure your own legacy, or strike out within your own company and become the problem-solver and expert that others look up to for guidance and leadership. See the world for what it truly is, rather than what you were taught it was supposed to be by people who had not the sense or the wit to see past the lies that they themselves were being fed.

George Clooney did all of this (more or less- I did mention his liberal politics, right?) for most of his adult life. Now that he seems to think that he's prepared to settle down again, he will probably be better prepared for marriage, just as the fictional grunt Ace predicted, and after all of his vast experiences with women, will almost surely be better equipped to handle the inevitable drama that is to come. Learn from that example- and for heaven's sake, don't marry a lawyer!!!


  1. Rumor is that Clooney wants to run for office and needs a wife to look the part.

    1. Wow. Good call.



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