Career women are evolutionary dead ends

Not every Strong Independent Woman is necessarily either a complete fool or completely crazy. There are some- albeit very very few- who recognise the costs that their choices impose:
Earlier this week, a broadsheet newspaper ran a triumphalist piece by a 42-year-old who claimed she was wilfully and joyfully childfree. The writer was one of a growing number of women, she claimed, who believe having it all means not having a baby. I call them the Motherhood Deniers. 
To an extent, that writer is right. Unburdened by motherhood and the personal sacrifice it requires, a woman can dedicate herself to her career and create a home with all the delicate ornaments, sumptuous fabrics and hard edges that have no place in a family environment. 

Where a decade ago, just one in nine women remained childless at 45 and were considered rather peculiar at that, now that figure is closer to one in four. For women with a university education, like me, that figure rises to 43 per cent - an extraordinary figure which signifies a seismic social change. 
Among my friends, relatively ordinary women as opposed to media types, I am not alone in being childless. And there are many more examples in the realms of the super-successful, from Oprah Winfrey and Cameron Diaz to Helen Mirren and Theresa May. 

Of 192 female directors among 1,110 FTSE 100 board members, it is estimated that just under half of them are childless.

I had an intern recently, a 21-year-old Oxford graduate, who told me confidently she never wanted kids because it would get in the way of her career. I told her she was mad. While a child-free life looks fun on Facebook, no number of career highs, nights at the theatre, weekends away or adult pleasures can disguise the fact that it feels - there is no other word - empty.

Between today and the end of my life, I hope there are a few more decades. But, as time goes by, the idea of dying without children feels unnatural and sad.
Ms. Spicer understands something that very few women of her generation- and mine, for that matter- do: women who refuse to bear children are evolutionary dead ends. It's just that simple, and I don't care how many shrill, silly justifications feminists try to trot out about how they can and should compete on equal footing with men- the hard fact is, they cannot. Women do NOT have to live as nothing but baby factories all their lives, but let us make no mistake about this- a woman who refuses to have children is essentially denying her entire biological reason for existence.

Ms. Spicer's unusually honest write-up goes on to make a few uncomfortable points- well, uncomfortable if you're a feminist, I suppose- that are important to see even so:
Then again, while women who don't have kids often flag up how wonderful it is to have so much time on their hands, I can't help noticing it's women with kids who get the most done. 
My sister-in-law has written two books, has three kids, and a much bigger home than me. JK Rowling was a single parent, and she's done all right.
...
The Motherhood Deniers are terribly excited about their friends. None of whom will be able to wipe their own bottoms in 40 years time, let alone those of their chums. And we all know nephews and nieces are not in the business of dedicating their lives to maiden aunts.
I have never met a woman who regretted having children. She surely exists, but not in my experience. I have met, however, older people who lament never having kids, for whatever reason, and I suspect some of the noisy Motherhood Deniers will eventually join their number.
I can't say I've ever met a woman who regretted having kids either- I've never met a man who regretted having them, either, come to think of it. My own father once told me- to my quite considerable surprise- that he originally didn't want children because he thought he would make a terrible dad; my mother was the one who convinced him otherwise, and she is a very highly qualified woman with a career of her own and tends to be quite assertive and independent in both thought and action (until and unless my dad definitively disagrees, that is). More than thirty years later, with two kids and a lifetime of very happy memories, I know for a fact that neither of my parents has ever regretted having children- and they look with a mixture of pity and scorn at the members of my extended family who have not had children or who have messed up their lives so badly that it is too late for them to settle down and have kids.

Civilisation requires masculine men and feminine women to thrive. Civilisation falls when men refuse to be protectors and providers, and- critically- when women refuse to be nurturers and mothers.
Or, to put it slightly differently:
Spengler's Universal Law #16: Small civilizations perish for any number of reasons, but great civilizations die only when they no longer want to live.

Comments

  1. The childless women I've met have all been hostile to men. Many of the divorced women, too. Husband, home, children - deny them those things and they blow a cork.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah. They feel like they are owed things that they have not earned. It's a very dysfunctional way of looking at the world, but then that is what modern feminism is- a dysfunctional, irrational philosophy.

      Delete
  2. Aubery de Grey's SENS should put paid to this issue in the next 2 decades. The future is agelessness.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think aging will be cured in the next 20 years (via SENS and stem-cell regeneration). This will eliminate the "old age" argument in favor of having kids.

    ReplyDelete

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