(Not exactly) A field report

Another weekend, another opportunity to post about introverted game. In all honesty, the reason I don't post about game much- or as much as I should- is because I haven't done very much about it for a while. That said, on Friday evening an opportunity came up to spend some time with a female of the species who, miraculously, didn't completely annoy me the first time I met her.

The back-story to this one is not terribly interesting, so I won't waste much time on it. Basically, I sent out a note saying that my firm might perhaps be interested in recruiting from such-and-such school; I received about thirty responses, only about five of which were actually of any use. I found one response, though, to be rather interesting. It was quite clearly from a woman, and one who was evidently of Eastern European extraction. Since I am, after all, a colossal jerk, I figured I might as well find out what it is that Roosh and others find so appealing about Eastern European women and set up a time to meet to discuss what I do and what the industry is like. We met up for a coffee and a chat a while back, and to my rather considerable surprise I actually enjoyed her company.

I also realised that I have never seen a fat or ugly Russian/Polish/Czechoslovakian/Ukrainian woman under the age of 40. Literally. Ever. I don't know what it is about that part of the world; maybe there actually is a point to drinking all that vodka after all?

So anyway, I got back from my long vacation back home after two mostly very relaxing weeks of doing little more than eating and sleeping, and decided to let off some steam after work on Friday by going to meet this girl for a drink at my favourite lounge downtown.

Now for those who are actually looking for some introverted game advice, this is the important part: always choose comfortable surroundings. Introverts like me are never going to be able to handle loud bars and clubs. I personally hate both environments and will do my absolute damndest to avoid them. For introverted guys, it is critical to find a venue that is quiet, classy, relaxed, and (this is crucial) convenient. I have a couple of favourite spots downtown, within a 30-minute radius from where I work. They are NOT cheap, but then, you're paying for the ambiance and the quiet, relaxed atmosphere. In the case of this particular lounge, you're paying for a tremendous selection of quite amazing beverages, great food, and a laid-back, chilled-out atmosphere in an upscale setting where you can just unwind for a while. It is, in other words, the perfect introverted hangout.

Once again, to my immense surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed the evening. Being who I am, I figured that I would spend maybe an hour or so in polite conversation before making my excuses and then getting the hell out of there to go home and get some proper rest.

We ended up talking for nearly 5 hours. I never talk to anyone for 5 hours- not even my own sister or parents.

There was clearly a good vibe going, but even then, there was no way to avoid certain annoyances that are inevitable when dealing with Westernised women. The first question I got was something along the lines of, "is it normal for guys in your line of work to be 10 minutes late?". I merely smiled and responded, albeit quite firmly, that I had been enjoying the walk over from my workplace. That was all that was required- no justification, no apology, just a simple, matter-of-fact statement before moving on to topics of greater interest.

The lesson here is simple: when a woman s**t-tests you, even unintentionally, there is no excuse for getting it wrong. Blow through those tests by refusing to apologise for who you are and what you do.

The evening also highlighted something that I suspect a lot of deep introverts find very challenging: tactile contact. Most INTJs that I know- and since I am one, I know far more than most- absolutely hate being touched. It bothers us in a way that is nearly impossible to explain to anyone else- we react almost instantly with a nearly visceral show of displeasure. Of course, because we are who we are, we tend to automatically assume that everyone else would react in similar fashion to such an unconscionable breach of his (or her) personal space. This is, in my opinion, one of the absolute hardest game lessons for a male deep introvert to master- we hate being touched, ergo we assume that everyone else thinks the same, and thus we don't touch anyone unless we have to.

In fact, you're going to find out that a woman rarely responds negatively to touch. Women are generally much more tactile than men, and with good reason. I didn't touch her beyond the shoulder and maybe the wrist or hand, but there was nothing negative whatsoever in her responses.

The evening was, on the whole, quite pleasant- unusually so, considering the week I'd had at work. It was just an enjoyable opportunity to unwind in the company of one who actually seemed interested in whatever it was I was talking about, whether it be Christianity, Austrian economics, finance, Islam, history, or whatever. Of course, such conversation is useless if not escalated into actual physical intimacy, and in that regard I doubt I'll get anywhere with this particular venture. Well, if that's the case, so be it; there are plenty of others out there and there is no point getting hung up on any one particular set of interactions.

The key points for me, and anyone else, to take away from this are simple:
  • As with anything else, practice and hard work result in positive outcomes, eventually. Other than the very small number of naturally gifted men, game comes about through work- just like computer programming, powerlifting, or mathematics.
  • Don't ever apologise for who you are. That way lies betatude.
  • The corollary to this is also important- don't ever give her a compliment that she hasn't earned (and even then, don't bother with compliments, even roundabout ones- I made that mistake at some point in the evening and when I realised it, I was mentally kicking myself for it).
  • Touch is a critical sense. Use it to your advantage.
  • Don't apologise about splitting the bill either. In fact, if you just assume that you will be splitting it, so much the better. When it came time to pay the tab, she pulled out her card just like I did. I didn't say a word about it. There had been no agreement beforehand to split the cheque, but she did it anyway. She got major props for this, actually; I'll tell you some other time about this one Chinese girl I knew who managed to royally piss me off by "forgetting" her purse at the office.
  • It is true- Eastern European women still know how to be feminine. This girl wasn't much above a 7- she didn't bother with makeup, and her clothes weren't anything special, but she was still a very pleasant person to be around. She had opinions and wasn't afraid to share them, but she was a good listener and rarely interrupted when I was speaking. She was, above all other things, feminine.
Anyone expecting salacious details from this is undoubtedly rather disappointed at this stage. I can't offer much by way of consolation; for me, the point of the evening was not physical intimacy, but rather an opportunity to "test the waters", so to speak. It was, on balance, a most productive and enjoyable experience, and one that I'll be looking to repeat in the near future.

Comments

  1. " Of course, such conversation is useless if not escalated into actual physical intimacy, and in that regard I doubt I'll get anywhere with this particular venture."

    Nope, you are wrong. She sent you clear signals of interest. Women are verbal seducers. She had you talking for 5 hours, she knows she is interested in you.

    "This girl wasn't much above a 7- she didn't bother with makeup, and her clothes weren't anything special,"

    This is intentional. I guarantee if you follow up with her, she will dress based on her level of interest in you. Women do alter their appearance based off of level of interest. The next time you see her should would have put on light make up, dressed more on the feminine side (not over doing it though), and most likely have her hair set at its best.

    "there are plenty of others out there and there is no point getting hung up on any one particular set of interactions."

    You were impressed by her otherwise you would not have written a post about her.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS. Anonymous comments will be deleted.

Popular Posts