"Necrobestial", indeed!

Courtesy of Tempest, here's one that should make you chuckle:
Author Virginia Wade's fiction debut follows a group of women who embark on a week-long camping trip to Mt. Hood National Forest. There, in the shadow of Oregon’s highest mountain, they are kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a mysterious woodland creature. "What the hell is that thing?" asks one protagonist. 
“‘It's f---ing Bigfoot,’ hissed Shelly. ‘He's real, for f---'s sake.’ Horror filled her eyes. ‘With a huge c---.’” 
The book, with the decidedly un-PG title "Cum For Bigfoot," is just the first of 16 fiction ebooks that Wade (a pen name) has written about the legendary beast sometimes known as Sasquatch, each detailing a series of graphic and often violent sexual encounters between the apelike creature and his female human lovers. Wade has made an exceptional living writing these stories. 
It began in December of 2011. A stay-at-home mother from Parker, Colo., Wade had no ambition to be a published author and no real writing experience other than a few attempts at historical romance in the mid-90s. But then, she says, "I got this crazy idea for a story." So she sat down and wrote the entire book — more of a novella, at just 12,000 words — in a matter of weeks. She never even considered trying to sell it to a mainstream publisher. Instead, she went directly to Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing, an online platform for self-publishing with a 70% royalty rate for authors. (The average royalty percentage for authors with mainstream publishers is between 8 and 15%.) 
"Cum For Bigfoot" wasn't an overnight best-seller. "The first month, I think I made $5," Wade admits. But over the course of 2012, the book was downloaded well over 100,000 times. "And that was just Amazon," she says. "That's not counting iTunes or Barnes & Noble or any of the other places that sell self-published books." With no marketing muscle, no bookstore tours or print reviews or any of the publicity that most top authors use to sell books, she started bringing in staggering profits. During her best months, she says, she netted $30,000 or more. At worst, she'd bank around six grand — "nothing to complain about," she says.
Honestly, you can't make up things like this. What was it I was saying earlier about how ALL women are crazy?

One could be forgiven for thinking that I'm disgusted or annoyed by this. I'm actually not. I'm immensely amused and entertained- mostly because I'm proven right (again) about women being what they are, and partly because whenever I accuse women of reading trash, they always get very annoyed with me and insist that I'm being a typically clueless MCP. While I am an MCP, there is no question that the advent of godawfully bad literary "phenomena" like the Fifty Shades Trilogy and this new batch of Sasquatch-related mommy-porn simply proves that women in general have awful taste in literature.

Comments

  1. Well, time to write a book and put it on kindle direct publishing! A 70% royalty is awesome.

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    Replies
    1. Planning to write a book on how several unreasonably buxom female deep-sea divers are taken prisoner, held captive, and rodgered by vicious mer-men with anatomically incorrect members and are then rescued by some bizarre were-octopus who just happens to give them the time of their lives?

      The sad part is, there is probably an audience for a book like that somewhere. Undoubtedly entirely female.

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  2. Yeah, I could never be that type of writer. I have other things to think about. I don't get the whole sub-human sex fantasy genre. I still haven't even read twilight, I haven't read 50 shades, and don't plan on it. The only mainstream series I have read over the years was Harry Potter (Started reading it while I was 12) and Hunger Games.

    On a serious note, ebooks are only highlighting the watering down of literature. I have noticed over the past 10 years how just about anybody can publish a book. Kindle Direct Publishing sounds like the most ideal way to publish now. Especially with that royalty rate. However, for the reader they have to sift through more bullshit to find good unknown authors. We all saw how this panned out with the music industry when Napster, Kazaa, Limewire, and Youtube made it possible for unknowns to put their recordings online. Now we have one of the most depressing eras of music. I see the trend going the same way with books. People writing garbage, and others reading garbage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it's probably best to leave the crazy interspecies DNA swapping to the Japanese, where it belongs.

      I'm not nearly as unhappy about the rise of direct publishing. Sure, there's a lot of dreck out there, but that is true of the conventional publishing model too- whenever I walked into a Barnes & Noble store in Manhattan I'd always find myself confronted with reams of garbage masquerading as "literature" and "bestsellers". It's a question of individual taste and choice, and I'm all for putting that freedom into people's hands.

      Case in point: heavy metal has exploded in the last twenty years. Bands don't necessarily make very much money playing the music, but the variety of sub-genres and the skill level of most metal bands has gone way, way up. I wouldn't even have heard of half the bands I listen to today if it weren't for YouTube, Napster (back in the day), and various other music streaming services.

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  3. LOL. I'll go ahead and admit it here.

    I've just written and published my first Dinosaur Erotica novella on Amazon.

    It hasn't been an overnight success, buy yeah it's selling.

    Crazy bitches ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well if it's anything like your last e-book then I'm sure it'll be a fun read (from a woman's perspective, anyway) =)

      Delete

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