The Deep Introvert's Burden
A deep introvert has few choices; only one of them is particularly palatable:
- Become something he is not in the (vain) hope of being left alone, and thereby give up everything that he most likes and values about himself;
- Retreat entirely from society into a kingdom of the mind, which means cutting himself off from everything and everyone that matters to him;
- Embark on projects of self-improvement through game, martial arts, firearms training- you name it, just do it. Remember that your mission has to come first.
By the way, flakiness is neither surprising nor wrong. It is the way women are, and there is no point getting angry or frustrated about it. Every deep introvert male, ever, has had to endure this, often multiple times from multiple women. It just isn't worth getting worked up about it. It does not matter that I trained her personally to be the best at her job, and nor should it. Your choices as a deep introvert are to sulk over the implied rejection, or to get on with life and to develop the personality tools to minimise the impact and damage of flaking. It isn't difficult to figure out which one I chose.
If you are a female deep introvert, well, my sympathies. After nearly 30 years of travel, writing, and meeting people (when I can be bothered), I can claim to know maybe three female INTJs, in any capacity. One is my former manager at my very first corporate job from nearly 10 years ago. One is this lady. And one is RedPillWifey, whose blog posts on being penetrated (heh) by red pill wisdom have done much to restore my often-minimal faith in the female half of our species. Unfortunately, ladies, life on your own doesn't get any easier than it does for us blokes. In some ways, it's even more difficult. Society from your parents onwards expects you to behave a certain way as women, and part of that behaviour, at least for Americans, means being the sweet and charming ray of sunshine that is the feminine ideal. If you are lucky, you will find a partner early on who will make your solitude easier to bear. If you are not lucky, like my former manager, you will probably get married late in life and for reasons that are... shall we say, perhaps not the best. Paradoxically, your natural inclinations to keep to yourself and live in your own head are what attract introverted males very strongly- but they also keep us from finding you, and vice versa. It's the classic introvert's dilemma, and there is not much you can do about it.
Since I write from a male perspective, I can only give male advice on how to deal with the solitude and the isolation that comes from being a deep introvert. If you get stuck for too long in isolation, you come to understand almost nothing else. The result is a never-ending cycle of silence and solitude, more even than a deep introvert needs or can bear. My advice on the subject is not going to be to make yourself more extroverted. That's just plain silly because it would be like forcing Microsoft software- slow, bloated, conformist, mass-marketed, standardised, inflexible, monolithic- to run on hardware optimised for Linux- fast, independent, adaptable, flexible, endlessly customisable- and you'll inevitably run into a massive conflict between the desires of your introverted nature and the demands of an extroverted society.
I've written before on the importance of mission to any man who wishes to better himself. This means finding something that you want to do, and then just doing it. No excuses, no regrets. Sure, you might fail; well, so what? You'll learn from it and move on. And as with everything else, the only way to accomplish your mission is constant practice. It doesn't matter whether you're talking about weightlifting, martial arts, driving, pistol shooting, or approaching women. Put it this way- when I first started powerlifting, I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing. I could not imagine squatting 315lbs. Fast forward to nearly 2 years later, and you could wake me up in the middle of the night, point me to a power rack, and I'd still be able to squat with decent form. It's all muscle memory now. So will it be with any endeavour to which a strong man truly dedicates himself. That's the reason why Roosh, for instance, is the best at what he does- constant, endless, tireless practice. If that is what you are aiming to become, then take that advice to heart, and apply it. You have only your weaknesses to lose, and mastery to gain.