The Way of the Sigma

The ever-excellent Prof. Ian Ironwood posted last week about the Wild Sigma:
Sigmas are a mystery by design, and in their immature form can resemble hapless Betas, misguided Gammas, or even a desperate Omega, for short periods of time.  That is because they don't come by social skills naturally, they usually have to observe and consciously integrate them.  Especially about sex.  The immature Sigma can stumble and flail wildly with this subject in his early years because he hasn't yet discovered a comprehensive set of instructions on how to properly dip his wick (i.e. Game), but the desire to do so is very much there. 


Hence the centaur.

The centaur represents the cthonic combination of the primal strength and majesty of the horse with the manual dexterity, intelligence and reason of a man.  In mythology, centaurs were either rapacious beasts or wise counselors, or some combination of the two.  That's a Sigma: incredible passion and incredible intellect.  In an immature Sigma, the Beast often rules, to disastrous result.  As the Sigma matures, however, he tames his passion with reason, intellect, skill and education, essentially harnessing the beast to his command.  A Sigma who develops self-mastery transforms from a clumsy, earnest, and often-misunderstood young man into a powerful and versatile mature man.  And that versatility is key.

Mature Sigmas can develop the ability of inserting themselves into any social situation and find the place where their skills and abilities will do the most good.  If there is no better leader available, a Sigma can display very strong Alpha characteristics.  If a more-natural leader is available, a Sigma is content to fade back and advise in Beta mode, rather than contend for leadership.  If there are leaders aplenty, then the Sigma will often step up as a mediator and negotiator.  And if things are running smoothly, a Sigma is often
content to accept a very minor role, but one which affords him an opportunity to still have subtle influence and a wide field of observation.
I happen to have more than a passing interest in this subject. When Vox came up with possibly his greatest contribution to the Manosphere, his Socio-Sexual Hierarchy, in which he elaborated upon his Sigma archetype, I emailed him about the subject and asked how a deep introvert (like him, and like me) might go about mastering the Way of the Sigma.

His response was quite interesting:
S asks about approaching:
I score even higher on introverted traits than you do, and you would know, as few others do, just how difficult interactions with other people can be as a result. It's not that I lack self-confidence or the ability to speak with other people, it's that I find small talk tiresome and frustrating. Small talk with women, in particular, can be infuriating in this regard- one can only take so much of listening to women in the office nattering on about "The Bachelor" before being tempted to end it all using the nearest sharp object. Yet, as you, and Roosh, and several others have pointed out, the ability to maintain a strong frame while generating an emotional, rather than logical, conversation, is critical to success with women.
This is an aspect of my life where I have fallen far short of my own expectations. I resolved some time ago to take corrective action, but reading theory only gets one so far.

So, here are my questions for you. How does a self-confident, bookish INTJ move past our natural dislike of other people? Given that bars, Starbucks coffee shops, and other loud environments are kryptonite to most INTJs and therefore to our game, what is the best place for an INTJ to start approaching in order to gain practice and experience? Given that INTJs, more than any other type, prefer living in our heads to living among people, how does an introvert get past the severe drain caused by social interaction in order to maintain a strong frame without having to do a lot of talking?
It's not necessary to spend much time with other people in public in order to meet all the women one could possibly require. The key is to maximize one's efforts while one has the energy to do so. The introvert doesn't have the time to wait for "the right moment", he will run out of steam nine times out of ten before it arrives.
I have always favored a direct approach. Simply make eye contact with whoever is of interest to you. If a pretty woman maintains eye contact and smiles, or better yet, looks down and smiles, immediately go and talk to her. There is no need to go into some sort of mad jongleur routine in an attempt to impress and entertain her, the fact that she has already indicated her interest in you should be sufficient. Have your conversational objective in mind as you approach her, and once you have achieved it, smile, nod, and leave at the first opportunity.
His full response was somewhat more derisory than this, so I recommend reading the whole thing before reading further into this post. All I can say is that, when I first read his response, I was rather taken aback by what seemed like a dismissive attitude towards a very simple question. Then I realised that, as with most things, Vox was of course correct. INTJs who fail with women, or who don't try at all, are at best Gammas on his SSH.

The value of Ian Ironwood's post is to show INTJs, like me, where the Gamma ends and the Sigma begins.

Sigmas are not, by any means, party animals. They prefer to be left alone as much as possible, quite often because they are devoted to the art of perfecting themselves in whatever end they decide to pursue. Indeed, the natural Sigma is at his absolute happiest when you LEAVE. HIM. THE. F***. ALONE. A true Sigma is often a puzzling paradox to those who can only see someone's exterior and are incapable of looking beyond it. Sigmas are socially reclusive, yet when the occasion calls for it they can be extremely charming. The fact is, though, that interacting with people is utterly exhausting for them. No Sigma that I've ever met- and I've only met a handful in my lifetime, since we don't exactly advertise ourselves openly- claims to enjoy being around other people. Indeed, most Sigmas have an open disdain and even dislike of other people, seeing them as annoyances at best and outright obstacles to the task at hand at worst.

So how, then does one go from being an INTJ Gamma to an INTJ Sigma? Simple. It starts with a relentless quest for self-improvement. INTJs are better equipped than any other type to identify our own weaknesses, and we are both ruthless and relentless in rectifying those mistakes. It is not for nothing that INTJs are called Masterminds; we are inveterate planners, tacticians, and strategists. To us, everything is variable, everything has its place in the natural order, every plan has to have at least three to back it up in case any one future state variable fails to go exactly according to plan.

To become a Sigma, you have to start with the premise that you are inadequate as you are. You have to identify your core strengths- and more importantly, your greatest weaknesses. Not confident speaking in public? Practise giving presentations until presenting in front of an audience is at best a mild discomfort. Not comfortable with the idea of being embarrassed in public? Take up a martial art, where if you can stomach being thrown to the floor by a girl half your size and with one third your musculature, you can stomach being embarrassed in public without real consequences. Not self-sufficient to the degree that you want to be? Learn how to drive stick, take up pistol shooting, learn how to hunt. Above all, adopt the mindset that everything has room for improvement.

I'm not going to pretend this is easy. It's not. A few years ago, I had a personal crisis of sorts when I realised that I had become stuck in a rut and my life needed some massive changes to get me out of it. I started down that path, got stuck for a while, and recently rediscovered my drive and ambition to make myself a better man. I'm not going to sit here and blow sunshine up your arse by saying that I've achieved everything I wanted, because I haven't. If I've achieved even a tenth of what I want to by the end of the year, I'll consider that a pretty decent track record.

The attitude of the Sigma is not far removed from that of the natural Alpha- massive, almost irrational self-confidence, derived from personal and professional success in every field in which the Sigma ventures. You can't get there with shortcuts, but you can get there if you work hard enough.

One final thought on the paradigm of the Sigma: don't make women your primary goal in life. Sure, having pussy on demand is great, no question. But that is not the be-all and end-all of a Sigma's existence, especially not an INTJ Sigma. INTJs exist to solve problems. It's what we were put on this Earth to do. It's what we're designed for, in a very literal sense. If you identify the problem areas in your life and begin addressing them, either in sequence or in parallel, and refuse to be intimidated or cowed by the challenges placed before you, then you will find the strength and the power needed to achieve Sigma dominance. Women and rewards will eventually follow, but you first must put in the hard work necessary to achieve those goals.

Further reading:

Comments

  1. Thanks Didact, fascinating stuff. I identify very much with the Sigma archetype and believe I am an INTJ. I took a Myers Briggs several years ago at my old company and came out INTP (borderline P/J), and have since become more organised and on top of things, leading me to believe I've swayed into the J category.

    Anyways, good work and good fortune to you sir.

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