The Pedestal Shatters...
He’s got a sister, whom he’s somewhat close to, and his sister has a friend – let’s call her Candy – who he’s not particularly close to but who has been a part of his life because she’s his sister’s BFF. As he explained, she’s flaky as hell and irresponsible about just about everything, can’t seem to keep a man or a job (she’s a dog groomer), and spends her life, well, like a 30 something flaky chick usually does. She hasn’t hit the Wall yet, apparently, but it’s right around the corner, and she’s got no idea.Read the whole thing, it's beautiful and I can't do the Rev. Ironwood's prose and narrative skills justice in a precis here. What I can do, however, is pick out a few excerpts to show just what a huge breakthrough this guy, "Mike", made:
Anyway, Candy is about a 7 on a good day, a 6 normally, and is headed for Fiveland on the evening bus. My friend – let’s call him Mike – is comparable, having recently completed a technical degree and started a new job, as well as working out a bit. Mike was attracted to Candy once, years ago, but her personality and proximity soon made her a woman to tolerate, not to date. Besides, as his sisters BFF, she was hands-off.
But Mike is a Nice Guy, and over the years he’s been forced to do all sorts of shit for her out of politeness and filial duty to his sister. At this point, he can’t stand her much at all, but she’s still under the impression that he’s been harboring a secret crush for all these years.
Last month, Candy apparently broke up with her boyfriend – again – lost her job – again – and had to move out of her apartment – again. Mike lives over an hour away, within driving distance, but his new job makes it hard for him to go visit his sister often. He thinks it’s a comfortable distance for kin, but apparently not enough to make him Candy-proof. She called him up one Saturday morning, and he’d just read something I’d written over coffee, and he was feeling . . . rebellious.
8:13 text from Mike: I have plans sorry
8:15 text from Candy: cancel them I need u!!!!!!!
8:16 text from Mike: to help u move? WTF?
8:18 text from Candy: YES!!!!! Need to be out by tonight. Thank you!
8:19 text from Mike: I didn’t say id do it
8:21 text from Candy: of course you’ll do it
8:22 text from Mike: no. good luck.As a man, your mission comes first. End of story. A woman who wants to divert you from that mission is a deadweight loss to you, no matter how hot she is, how great she is in bed, or how many of her friends she lets you sleep with.
“Remember just a moment ago, when I asked you what you had ever done for me? Crickets. If we had any kind of friendship, you should have been able to think of something. Shit, why isn’t my sister helping?”Perfection.
“She is! She said she’d get you to help!”
“You were misinformed.”
“Mike, you’re being a dick! Just come help me! Please?” (At this point, he said, he was tempted to waver. He really was. When a woman says ‘please’ like that, it’s hard for a Beta to say ‘no’. I’m proud of Mike. He persevered.)
“Why should I help you, Candy?”
“Because we’re friends! And friends help each other out!” she pouted.
“So when was the last time you helped me out?” he repeated.
“Exactly. And either I’m your boyfriend and I help you move, in which case you’re fucking me, or I’m your girlfriend. And if I’m your girlfriend, then I’m going to weasel out of helping you move just like my sister.”Yep. I had to learn this lesson the hard way with one girl that I knew from high school and then met again in college. I never got anywhere with her, and because I didn't know the first damn thing about women and the Red Pill back then, I had no idea when or how to escalate or figure out why she only considered me a "friend". At the time, I should have realised that the fact that she smoked like a chimney and was incredibly insecure (both massive dealbreakers for me) meant that she was simply not worth my time, and that by hanging around her as a Beta orbiter I was just getting unconsciously frustrated, diverting myself from my mission, and acting like her girlfriend instead of being a man.
“What kind of fucked-up talk is that?”
“Look,” he said, only half-serious – he said he was joking. “The only way I’d come and help you move today is if you paid for gas, paid for lunch, and then fucked me rotten afterwards. Are you likely to do that?”
“Then good luck in your future endeavors, Candy. I’m going to grab a shower.” Click.
I was young and stupid. I'm less young now and hopefully a little less stupid. Evidently "Mike" is learning the same lessons on his own. Good for him.
“I’m tired of being used,” he repeated. “Hey, if she wants to trade sexual favors for moving help, I’d be open to that. But I leave here around ten, so if she’s going to act on that, she’d better call soon.”This is like that scene in "Dodgeball" where Gordon finally gets angry. He finally realises where his balls (heh) are and uses them for a change. A Beta who nukes that damn pedestal from orbit because he's fed up of being denied what he wants is a beautiful and terrible thing to behold.
“You want to screw Candy?” she asked in disbelief.
“I’d consider it in return for services rendered. Or cash. But my time and energy are valuable, and you need to start realizing that.”
“Valuable? What the hell are you doing today that’s so important.”
“I didn’t say it was valuable to you. But I’m done doing favors for Candy. And your other friends, too. I’m either a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and I can only be a boyfriend to one woman at a time.”
“What the fuck happened to you? You used to be such a nice guy!”
“I woke the fuck up.” Click.
He got the blowback, too. This happened just after Thanksgiving, before the holiday season. By Christmas time a rumor had spread among his family that he was off his medications or he’d had a crisis or he’d otherwise gone crazy. But when he showed up for Christmas dinner at his mother’s house – with a date, no less – he looked great. New job, new place, new clothes, and even a date that didn’t eat with her fingers (I told you he had poor selection criteria . . .)Which is exactly what I expected. The guys would indeed side with "Mike", unless they're complete Betatised pussies. The girls would gasp in horrified amazement- but those who aren't related to this guy would also probably find him suddenly more attractive as a result. A guy who doesn't take crap from a woman, or anyone else for that matter, is a guy worth knowing and being around.
Mike tells me that his obstinate refusal came up at Christmas dinner, too. His sister was nasty about it and wouldn’t leave it alone, basically trying to rally her other female relatives (and the men, but mostly the women) into a consensus condemning Mike’s behavior. It didn’t quite go as planned.
I’m not going to do another cute dialogue here (although I’m sure it would be entertaining) but the long and short of it is that Mike’s mom, while initially siding with his sister, eventually decided that her son was within his rights for refusing to help, even if she’d “brought him up better than that”. His aunts were ambivalent, but tended to side with his sister.
The men in his family, to a man, thought what Mike did was absolutely fine. He didn’t even need to apologize. That sparked a brief argument that led to his elderly widower uncle (didn’t catch the name) loudly proclaiming that “you don’t do crap for a woman anymore unless she’s sucking your dick!” at the Christmas dinner table (Mike’s mom makes some killer egg nog, I know for a fact).
The Reverend Ironwood's post was an example of great writing, great storytelling, and great wisdom. I wish his buddy "Mike" the very best in his journey out of the Beta Badlands. Lord knows, I have a long way to go myself.