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The Ten Commandments of the Iron God

Here followeth the Law of the Iron, to be observed and honoured by all disciples of the steel as ye pray in the Temple of the Iron God, the Holiest of Holies, the Squat Rack. Remember these Commandments and do not fail to heed them, for the wrath of the vengeful Iron God is truly a fearsome thing to behold.
1. I am the Lord of Iron thy God, who brought thee out of the heretical land of Broscience, out of the bondage of body-part split routines. Thou shalt have no other lifting gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not pay attention to the activities of others in the gym, or any girl in yoga pants on the treadmill, or any bros who dishonour Me; thou shalt not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Iron Lord thy God, am a jealous God, visiting the inattention of the lifter upon his joints and tendons even unto the third and fourth subsequent workouts of those who hate Me, but showing mercy and granting strength through the thousand workouts, of those who love Me and keep My Commandments.
3. T…

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